Hello there!
It’s been a little over 4 weeks now since I’ve been home. My perspective on life has changed drastically over the past year and being back in America makes me see that truth even clearer. I grew up with the idea that money gets you ahead in life and the more money you have, the closer you’ll be to the “American Dream”. I wanted to keep up with the newest styles and trends. I wore makeup to see myself as beautiful. I obsessively checked and posted on Facebook and Instagram to catch the attention of others.
The result: I felt lost amongst groups of people but I tried my very hardest to fit in. I kept my head held high in public to fool everyone from knowing what I really thought of myself was less than. I constantly compared myself to others and where they were in life and where they were headed in the future. I romanticized movies and novels into reality and expectations. I never stopped to really ponder the question of what it meant to be happy and live a life full of abundance.
If I had a time machine now, I would whisper the sweet truth I’ve come to find to the lost girl looking in the mirror. I would tell her that the secret to happiness is so simple if she would just listen. But when I imagine this scene in my head, I still see that girl rejecting the truth even when it was so bluntly stated. God’s timing is perfect and boy did he have a way of showing me.
“Anna why did you cut all your hair off?” Response: “Well the weather was hot and muggy. My hair usually looked like I had just been electrocuted when I wore it down and my head was starting to hurt from my hair being in a ponytail all the time.” So as you can tell, I had some pretty valid reasons. This might seem like a silly example but this was a crucial moment when I felt the Holy Spirit in me.
A decision like this would have never been an option years ago. In every aspect of my life, even as small as that one, I was worried about what people thought of me. I mean it’s just a haircut.. but we’ve turned a haircut into an identity. And again I say, it’s just a haircut. We fixate and focus on so many things in life that truly, when all is said and done, do not matter. The underlying reason why I got a haircut? My significance is found in someone far more significant.
What I do needs to be honoring and glorifying to God (and believe me, I’m still working on it). Graciously, God posted the word significant on the person in the mirror looking back at me. I no longer need to think of myself as less than. My identity no longer comes from the amount of items I have or the amount of makeup I wear. It doesn’t come from a crush sliding into my DM’s or a FB/Instagram post getting a lot of likes. My identity is now found in Jesus, a beautiful truth that has transformed my life.
Following Jesus has allowed me to destroy worldly ideals and values and live for someone greater. Following Jesus allows me to stop and take a breath in a stressed out situation and know that He is in control. Following Jesus is knowing that I’m only on this Earth for a short amount of time so each day should be devoted to the one who brought me here. Following Jesus means knowing that even though I’m still going to mess up.. A LOT, God’s grace is bigger. Following Jesus has given me a purpose and worth. I wake up in the morning and I know my identity. I don’t strive to find it in materialistic items or the amount of money I have. I know God will provide when I’m walking in the path He’s laid out.
Is it hard some days to trust in God during this fundraising process and in life in general? Heck yeah! But I take comfort in knowing He knows. He knows what’s going to happen now and in four months from now. And His plans are always working for our good.
P.S. There are still plenty of ways you can help me reach my goal!
1.) Pray, subscribe, and share. Prayers are powerful and I’m hoping to be 50% funded after my May 4th Event. By subscribing and sharing, more people can participate on this journey with me!
2.) Buy a T-Shirt! 🙂
3.) Come out to the May 4th Mother’s Day Event (details to come).
4.) Participate in Adopt a Box! Details can be found on my Facebook or Instagram page.
