A couple days ago, my team and I climbed a mountain of rocks to go sand boarding. As we were climbing, a ton of fearful thoughts started swarming my mind. What if I slip on one of these rocks and fall? What if my asthma starts acting up? Would my teammate be able to grab my hand if something were to happen? I was on the verge of tears two times during this experience. I’m painting you a picture that may sound like we were doing something extremely daring. I can assure you it wasn’t as life threatening as my brain was making it seem. As this fear was intensifying, I heard voices of encouragement around me. One of my teammates stood in front of me and one behind me (holding my hands..) when I had to cross a little ditch. They didn’t once question the ridiculousness of the panic I was in. Instead, they stood by side, both physically and emotionally.
As I’ve been searching for the words to say in my first blog post, the Lord showed me the truth of His character through this situation. I’ve been wrestling with self-doubt and comparison. Allowing untrue thoughts to enter my mind. “I can’t be the person God wants me to be.”, “I’m not qualified to do this.”, “I may have made a mistake.”. I allowed myself to think I was alone in everything I was feeling. I wasn’t taking the time to ask the Lord what He thought about me. God revealed that He’s always been with me even when the dark thoughts arise. He revealed the truth He sees in me. I will not be left alone when I can’t seem to contain the thoughts. The cry of His voice seeking me is even louder than the voices I heard from my teammates on the mountain. He didn’t abandon me or tell me I was ridiculous. He’s showing me He placed me here for a reason. I can now reflect on all the work He’s been doing.
Sand boarding, floorball, and soccer are big parts of Inca Link ministry. It’s a great way to reach the kids. They have bible studies with invested leaders who have a deep compassion for the kids to feel loved. Our cook, Mariella, has the sweetest words of wisdom to offer our team. Her testimony is powerful and it’s truly beautiful to see what God is doing in her life. Our team can be thrown into situations last minute and they have a great attitude of “just roll with it “ (shout out to Kayla). I can see the body of Christ at work in so many ways. The kids have the biggest smiles and roaring laughs. The Holy Spirit moved in me to pray for a Venezuelan woman on the street with two of her kids (something I’ve never done before). I know a few phrases in Spanish and learned how to ask “Can I pray for you?”. God gave me a deep yearning for her to feel love and seen. When I take a step back and look at everything going on, I see the goodness of God. The Holy Spirit is at work in the ministry leaders at Inca Link, my teammates, and me.
When I got to the top of the mountain, the sight was absolutely beautiful. It was as if the fears I had didn’t exist or even make sense anymore. The peace and overwhelming joy I felt was unexplainable. What if that feeling could exist on the way up the mountain? Living a life with the Lord is still bound to have struggles but peace from Him will be extended in every situation. If only I can shift my focus to the things of the Lord instead of the fears of the World. I can’t wait to see how God continues to work this truth in me.
Much Love,
Anna
