Month 6. I can feel the pain as I remember the words released within a matter of seconds. “The whole squad is going home in the next few days.” It felt like the wind was knocked out of me. It was hard. Really hard. It wasn’t supposed to end like this.
That day, I felt a pain like I’ve never felt before. I couldn’t process any of it. My squad returning back to the states right as we reached our halfway mark. How is this fair God? There was so much left for us to do. I saw all the work you had been doing up to this point through me, my team.. my entire squad. Why God? Why now?
The Lord brought to mind scripture after scripture about how suffering produces perseverance; perseverance, character; and character, hope. Okay I get it, I can read it and agree. But when you’re in the midst of the struggle, it’s difficult to rely on the truth of the word and who God says He is.
It’s okay that it’s hard but it’s not okay to doubt God’s goodness.
I wouldn’t trade the past 5 and a half months for anything. Z Squad is my family and I couldn’t imagine a race without them. I found the love of Jesus in so many interactions and time spent getting to know Him. As we were on the plane descending into New York City with a bucket of tears in my hands, I heard the Lord whisper “trust me” over and over again.
“Trust that my plans are good.” There is a saying I picked up on the race, Life is Ministry and Ministry is Life. Our ministry won’t stop because we are off the international field. This sudden transition may have come as a surprise to us but it didn’t come as a surprise to God. He has a plan far greater than I can even imagine. But am I willing to trust Him?
As we got here, I instantly heard all the talk about the Coronavirus. I soon came to the realization I had no idea what was actually going on while we were in Africa. The scriptures God is giving me for my time of struggle is meant for a World going through a lot of hardship and stress. It’s impossible to reveal all of God’s character and love for us through a couple scriptures but I hope it brings you peace and encouragement to keep reading and discovering (Passages below).
In the midst of pain, I can hold onto hope. I can hold onto the Lord’s promises and the comfort of His presence. What’s next for me?
To seek God daily and surrender control.
Adventures in Missions has been offering a lot of help and support in this difficult time. They had to get 500+ racers off the field and I trust they did what was best. I’m unsure if/when I’ll be returning to the field. I’m learning that patience is key in this process.
Lastly, THANK YOU thank you thank you for all of your prayers and support. The power of prayer is real. I know God hears them. I couldn’t have made it this far without you. I’m going to keep running this race in America and wherever God leads me next! It’s not the end, it’s just a new beginning. I love you so much!
Please reach out to me with any questions and prayer requests: [email protected] I would love to answer them and pray for you!
Scripture Passages:
Romans 5:1-5
James 1:2-18
James 5:7-12
2 Corinthians 1:3
Psalm 119:50 My comfort in my suffering is this: Your promise preserves my life.
