Lately I’ve been trying to figure out what it means to “give things to God”, to let him take control of things.
I am world’s worst control freak. I love being independent. It makes me feel good to be able to take care of myself and not rely on other people. That’s why this fundraising thing is so hard for me, I think.
So what does it mean to hand things over to God? What does that look like?
Does it mean I stop trying to make any effort in finding a job, or trying to raise money? Do I just sit back and relax and wait for God to work things out? That sounds ridiculous. That can’t possibly be what he’s asking me to do. I mean, in order to get something out of something we’re expected to put something in, right?
Maybe it means that at the end of the day, after I’ve filled out a dozen applications and sent my resume to a thousand people, and I’ve mailed out countless support letters, I realize that I can’t do anything more than what I’ve already done.
I think it’s understanding that all I can do is make the effort and choose not to worry; but instead put my trust in God that he is going to work something out.
My biggest lesson so far in this race: Learning to not be independent, but dependent on God. Easier said than done, my friends.
