I realized in the time since being home from training camp, that this will never be enough.
I am wrecked, ruined.
Sitting at a coffee shop, in some what comfortable chairs, reading and writing about my God, it will never fully quench my thirst and desire to serve my God.
This has become comfortable.
This is actually one of the reasons why I first applied for the race, I was too comfortable in my faith. In prayer I asked God to stretch me and to strip me of my comfort zone. “Be careful for what you ask for Anna.”
Training camp was fun, exciting, and adventurous. It was filled with running through the woods that surrounded the AIM grounds, plenty of singing and laughter, trying new foods from different countries, conversations in the showers while each individual let out the first “burrr” as they poured the cold garden hose water on themselves. It was filled with interesting challenges that made us depend on our teammates to not allow us to roll down the hills, or left us helpless as one was carried on a teammates back or in their arms because they had lost the use of their legs or sight. It was filled with the ever present company of one of the 54 members from all over the nation that formed U Squad. It amazes me how fast 54 strangers, who love Jesus, came together to form a family.
Training camp was also mentally, physically, and spiritually exhausting. By the time I called my mom on night 7, I told her that I felt naked and exposed. The only way I could describe it to her was by telling her that they (AIM staff, guest speakers, and my teammates) had successfully broken through every wall that I hid behind to protect myself. That while the challenges were fun and interesting, they also pushed me passed my comfort zone. It was day/night 6 that I finally said “You win God. You have shattered my comfort zone, I am holding onto nothing else.”
We had a “camp out” on that night; sounds fun, yes?? I am from Southern California, so it rains (more likes sprinkles in comparison). But for the camp out as soon as we stepped out of the vans, we were instantly soaked, it was pouring so hard. We were given instructions to pack one pack for every two people, to take whatever we think we would need. We were given food and four tarps, and were set loose to make camp for the evening. Not going to lie, while walking down to the site in shoes that were pushing out water with every step, I thought, “okay, they can’t really be serious about letting us out in this weather.” It wasn’t until the tarps, being so heavy filled with water that a tree actually came down, did I realize that we weren’t being picked up until the morning. We had set up camp 20-30 yards up from the river, so a teammate and myself walked down and watched and prayed as God displayed His might. The river was wide and consumed by the current and the water falling from the sky. There was lightening, and as it started to be able to be seen more frequently, I finally said to God, “You win.” As I surrendered my comfort, there was a large wave of lightening hitting the water and the trees at the same time. The surrender became peaceful, and God’s might ever beautiful.
God showed me so many things and wrecked me of so many different things in the ten days I spent in Georgia. God reaffirmed the race for me while whispering to me throughout camp, “Don’t worry, you can do this.”
I also really want to introduce Team Selah: Lexie, Cha Cha, Micah,Eric, and Ryan. I ask that you keep us in your prayers as we head to Port Elizabeth, South Africa in a little over 3 1/2 weeks.
