“God, what should I do?”
“Sit with me.”
I was asked this week a question that truthfully back at training camp I was hoping I would never be asked. This was my conversation with the Lord as I tried to demand a quick answer from him.
On Monday one of the squad leaders pulled me aside and asked me this question, to which my reply was literally to bend over and start anxious laughing. He asked if a half an hour would be enough time to pray about it and get back to him, to which I said no. I told him that I needed to go freak out privately first and then pray about it so that no one would see me and think, “Okay so maybe not her.” He was gracious and let me disappear while I tried to figure out what to do. I grabbed my bible, journal, and water and headed off the compound to set up camp on a boulder that over looked the neighboring mountains and homes.
Immediately I asked God what I should do, and he was silent.
“Sit with me.”
I sat down.
“What should I do Lord, I don’t know if I can do this.”
“Dear daughter, just sit with me.”
I sat for a while thinking about serval different things, doubting every reason I was told why they asked me.
“Now God?”
“Nope, just be still.”
“Pray for them.”
I thought, “okay, that I can do.” So I started to pray for my teammates. I felt a sense of calm wash over me as I sat on the boulder praying for them.
“Tell me your reservations.”
“I don’t think I can do this. I never really wanted to do this, and I don’t know how to do it. What if I tank this?…” Yup, these and many more were my thoughts and doubts. “Please tell me what to do.”
“Sit with me.”
“Colossians.”
I didn’t have to read too far into the book to find my answer. Colossians 1:3-12. In these 9 verses, God showed me from where my relationship with him has grown in the past, to how I am growing in him in the present, to what he will do in the near future.
“Talitha cumi.”
I wrote in a past blog that God gave me a verse after training camp for the year, Mark 5:41, “Taking her by the hand, he said to her, “Talitha cumi”, which means, “Little girl, I say to you, arise.” This verse has a few different meanings for me as to what God is going to do, but one of them is that He is going to raise me up to be bold and confident in who he has made me and who he is going to make me into.
He said that and I knew that this was a part of it.
I was asked this week to be team leader for Team Rise ( we changed our team name at debrief from Selah to Rise based off of Nehemiah 2:18). I don’t think that this is “it”, by that I mean that this isn’t all God is raising me up for, but rather this is a stepping stone for the woman he desires me to be.
Yup this was my week, I am excited for this opportunity with a hint of nerves but God is faithful, always. Please be praying for Team Rise as we transition into this new season. Pray that God continues to do rad work in each of us and in us as a team. Pray for me that I lean on God alone to guide both myself and this team. Pray for his people at El Shaddai, Swaziland, and Mozambique as we head there next. Thank you for your prayers and support in this.
