DISCLAIMER: this letter wasn't written for the general public. chances are, most of you reading this won't understand it. it's for a very specific audience, and a very small number of people have been in a place where reading this will be helpful to them. if you or someone you know falls into this category, please pass it on to them. if not, then there's really no reason for you to read it. just letting you know in advance. 🙂
-Anna
Dear kindred spirit,
I’m writing this for you because I’ve been in your shoes. Our story looks different from most World Racers, for one reason or another. I know, “Everybody’s been broken.” It’s a part of the process, right? But you weren’t broken the same way they planned for you to be.
No, dear one…you’re wounded, deeply wounded. You’ve been sent home from Training Camp or maybe even from your race because the wound is so deep, and the pain so great, that it’s been determined you’re not ready for this…yet.
In that “yet” is where I want to shine some hope on you. I want to tell you what I wish someone had told me in those dark months after the behavioral document was written up and I was shoved into a corner and left to fend for myself. I want you to take these lessons, hard learned, to heart…and use them to find victory over your darkness.
1) THIS IS NOT YOUR FAULT.
It’s not. Your wounds were delivered by someone who was supposed to love you and hijacked by the enemy of your soul to do extensive damage to someone who carries the kingdom of God within them. You are not the enemy. You are not the bad guy. You ARE a child of God and the bride of Christ, hated intensely by the evil one, and he has wounded you. God wants to heal you. He wants you to find victory. And you will.
2) YOU ARE NOT A BURDEN.
You are a joy. You were made by God because He didn’t want to make a world without you in it. You have so much to offer. Don’t let your brokenness tell you that you don’t have anything for anyone and that they’re better off without you. It’s just not true. On the other side of your healing, you are going to be so much more capable of bringing hope to the broken because of what you’ve been through. Your healed wounds will be an asset, not a hindrance.
3) YOU ARE NOT BEING PUNISHED.
You are loved, and valued, and this decision (no matter how much you may have disagreed with it) was for YOUR benefit. Take the time you need to seek the healing God has for you. Let it make you stronger, and come back. Don’t lose heart. If He has called you, no one can hold you back from what He has for you.
4) YOU ARE NOT ALONE.
Dear one, I pray you weren’t dealt with the same way I was. I pray that there was so much more grace extended to you. I pray that you were given help and resources and someone to help pull you out of the pit you’re in. but if you weren’t…and I say this as someone who has walked out this hard, seemingly clichéd truth…
5) GOD’S GRACE IS SUFFICIENT FOR YOU.
He has never left you, not once. He has a plan for your healing, for your heart, for your victory. He will walk you through this season and will bring you out so much stronger than you walked in. know that you have His constant companionship and that His desire to help you is so much greater than your need of His help.
And finally…
6) IT’S OKAY…NOT TO BE OKAY.
You have an amazing opportunity presented to you-a season to grieve and process and deal with your junk so that you can enjoy the next season more fully. The World Race is an amazing adventure, and I want you to have a WAY better experience than I did. So get rid of your junk, dear one. Embrace not being okay, and know that it’s not for always…and that as you embrace deep grief, you embrace deep joy. “Blessed are those who mourn, for they will be comforted.” Joy is coming in the morning.
If you need prayer (or just want to tell me your story), my e-mail is [email protected]. I would love to hear from you and pray for you.
-Anna
