I can’t believe there are only 28 days left in Guatemala! Reaching the halfway point felt strange. This place has become my home and I forgot there was an end to my time here. Ministry and life with my household overflows with such fun and goodness. I love the traditions we have formed: Sunday lunch in the backyard, picking up fresh bread at the local grocery store, pancake breakfasts every Saturday, and heading to the market for cheap fruits and vegetables each week.
Currently it is the rainy season in Guatemala and clouds are everywhere. The many hills and volcanoes dotting the landscape in Guatemala allow us to regularly ascend and descend through the clouds. Somedays we drive to school and are surround by wisps of white, other days I look up to blue skies but downward to beds of white floating in the valleys beneath me. The beauty of this place never ceases to amaze me.
One of my missions is to never feel “normal” or too comfortable living in Guatemala. Last Saturday we were making pancakes in the kitchen and listening to a sermon by Francis Chan about eternal living when he stated that the comforts we experience in our daily life should never lull us out of a continual longing for our permanent home in heaven.
It is really easy for me to be comfortable at home. Whether I am living in Minnesota or San Lucas, I naturally seek to establish a routine where I am most comfortable. While it is good to make roots and create an atmosphere of hospitality, focusing on adding comfort to our lives can plug our ears to God’s call for us. Getting too “comfortable” pushes us to the dangerous line of being so content with our life in this world that we grow spiritually flabby. We settle into our desires and when God calls us to sacrifice financially, move houses, or go out of our way to bless someone, we are sluggish in obeying God’s call because it hurts too much and disrupts our life. In essence, we are trying to live independent of God. He is a part of our life but not the central focus.
Living in the uncomfortable tension of complete dependence on God tones our spiritual muscles. Philippians 3:19 says the people whose minds are filled with earthly things have their belly, or appetite, as their god. While that appetite can be talking about food, I believe it also refers to our appetite for living. This appetite is the desires and dreams we hold for our future. By chasing our personal goals we end up running away from God and his plan for us.
We decide the career we want to pursue, what person to marry, and the number of kids in our family without taking time to sit at the feet of our Lord and listen to what he has to say. His plan for each person is infinitely better than the small dreams we tenaciously grip with our fingers, unwilling to realize that something bigger and better lies right above our heads.
These last couple of days and weeks have been a struggle for me as God opened my eyes to areas in my life and heart that needed healing. I hated the feeling of being broken and knowing I was unable to fix myself. However, through that uncomfortable situation I was brought to dependence on Christ. In wanting healing and wholeness so desperately, I was directed to the feet of my Savior. In his presence there is freedom in the knowledge that in the midst of my human brokenness and error, I am whole, intimately known and loved by God. It is through experiencing brokenness and choosing a life of dependence that we open the door for Christ to work powerfully.
I have come to realize that God desires us to be broken for his sake. God specializes in using the weaknesses of his children for glory. By leaning heavily into him, I experience his fullness and easily receive strength for each moment of the day. Our good Father delights to bring his children further into freedom and healing.
With only one month left in Guatemala there is an unspoken urgency felt during ministry. Love more, live with abandon, leave nothing left unsaid. I think everyday should feel like that. When life is lived in dependence on him, there is no reason to worry about our reputation, physical comforts, or giving in to fear. Our Father will provide as he always does.
