Hmm… Do I tell him the truth? He’s
probably older than me. Will it jeopardize my credibility? Crap. I’m a
missionary; I shouldn’t lie.
“I’m twenty-two.” I say,
confidently, or with what I think is a confident voice.
There is laughter from several of the
guys in the back, and a couple of them start slapping eachother. I
tell myself this is a gang ritual, not encouragement to make a move
on me, and continue with my lesson.
I am ‘Teacher’ this month. Our ministry
involves teaching English to university students. I wasn’t sure what
I thought about this at first. How am I qualified to teach English?
“Well. You SPEAK English, so you’re more qualified than them.”
Hmm… just because I’m ‘more qualified’ to teach English doesn’t
really mean that I’m ‘qualified, but okay, and I dove into teaching.
I have my own class. I have my own
students. I have my own whiteboard markers that never work. I am
teacher, and I am actually really enjoying it.
Heisui, one of the women here, asked me
if I would come back to Cambodia longterm to teach English. I thought
about it: It’s hot here, and I’m tired of sweating and pollution, and
running from stray dogs and getting sick from the water. I told her I
didn’t really feel called to Cambodia, because… I would never WANT
to live here.
Today, during teaching, Geoff shared
the gospel. One of the students asked what Geoff wanted to do with
his life, and he said he wanted to be a youth pastor, and talk about
Jesus. ‘Do you know who Jesus is?’ Some nods, some confused faces.
“Well, it’s time to go now, and you can leave, but, if you want to
stay, I can tell you about Jesus for a few minutes.” No one leaves,
and Geoff shares the good news with our students.
While he’s speaking, I’m sitting there, so excited that I
could burst, silently praying for him. I look at some of the
kid’s faces and see a couple of them get it. Something clicked, and
there was a fire in their eyes. My heart was burning with theirs, and
I realized that this is what makes it worth it.
Worth two weeks of diarhea.
Worth sweating so much I slide off my
bike.
Worth waking up in the middle of the
night to vomit.
Worth vertigo and motion sickness.
Worth anything and everything.
I have the opportunity to tell people
about Jesus. My Jesus. I get to hold children like God does. I get to
tell forgotten women about the one who wants to love them
unconditionally. I get to tell broken men that God will make it
right.
Misty Edwards has this song called, ‘I will waster my life’ and the chorus says, “I am in love with you; there is no cost,”
My life isn’t a sacrifice, it’s a privilege. I know the source of love, and I get to share it.
Yeah, I complain. I get annoyed and
tired and act entitled, and sometimes count the minutes until I step
foot inside a Target, but today, looking at the light in the
student’s faces, I realize- I would go anywhere to see that light.
Because it’s all about Jesus, and God being reconciled to people. It
doesn’t matter where, what, or when… to see that look in someone’s
eyes— that’s what makes it worth it.
