When I embarked on this thing called the World Race, against all advice, I left home with certain expectations.
I expected to live uncomfortably in one form or another each month. Check.
I expected to make indescribable connections with different people all over the world. Check.
I expected God’s provision and protection. Check.
I expected to miss my family and friends. Check.
I expected to make new, lifelong friendships. Check.
I expected to serve and cater to the needs of others. Check.
What I didn’t expect was to feel constantly on display in a way I have never experienced- constant starring eyes, incessant hollering, and the occasional bold hand grab or hug.
Going into different countries, I knew that we would look different, and I knew we would stand out. What I misjudged, though, was how others in those countries would react to our differences. In Central America it ranged from whistles and other noises, to people of all ages screaming “GRINGAS!”, or “Hey baby!” or our personal favorite, “Welcome to my country! I’ll love you forever!” along with a slew of other inappropriate comments I’ll leave out here. Asia, being a more reserved culture, was mostly stares, whispers, and pointing. Although we have only spent one month in Africa so far, this is some of the most intense – we’ll call it “attention” -yet.
Every day in Swaziland, we traveled into the city to get to our ministry sites where we served at pre-school care points that also function as feeding centers. Our squad has joked about how getting through the bus rank, the place we had to catch transportation, is much like a video game. There are vans EVERYWHERE, fruit and vendor stands crowd the narrow drive ways, men are screaming at you to get in their van (in between asking you to marry them of course), and you will likely get run over if you lose focus for more than 30 seconds.
In the first leg of travel, I was just more surprised than anything. I laughed off the stares and comments, and I was pretty good about just ignoring most of it. It was easy to combat this constant attention with humor (“Man, if I can not shower and wear the same clothes for a few days and still get these comments I must really be doing alright”… talk about solidifying your identity in Christ!). Yet, after 9 months + of constant shouts and gawking, you can become pretty frustrated and even irritated. “WHY are people always staring at me? I’m tired of being yelled at and disrespected.” One day a man actually grabbed my arm and pulled me close to him, asking me to take him with me. Riding home that afternoon, I had a completely new perspective on why B Spears went nuts vandalizing a car with an umbrella, and why celebrities punch paparazzi in the face.
OK DISCLAIMER- clearly punching someone in the face is not a solution I would support.. I’m just saying, I’m not going to pretend like I didn’t literally almost swing my bag of avocados at a man’s head while walking through the bus rank one day.
As I sat and reflected on my day that evening, I was a bit disheartened at how unsettled my spirit felt as a result of my growing impatience with the shouts and stares of the world around me. At the end of the day, most of the attention is typically harmless- they can stare and say whatever, and I can just go about my day. With the intensity of these responses increasing, I found my patience lowering at the same rate. It wasn’t the first time I had thought about how back in the states you just don’t see children of other races yelling and pointing at you because you’re white. You don’t get stared at while you eat food or drink a cup of coffee at the local coffee shop. You don’t get followed around the grocery store with relentless pursuit for your hand in marriage. [Que the B Spears freak out 8 years later]. As a society, America is by no means an example of perfect inclusion and harmonious living; yet, after traveling through 3 different continents I continue to be shown just what it means to have grown up surrounded by differences, options, and varying opinions.
I became humbled by the revelation that the build up of frustrations towards these behaviors was largely due to a lack of understanding and cultural awareness on my part. I don’t stare at people of other races because I grew up in a country and time period that exposed me to those things. I know it’s disrespectful to yell vulgar comments and objectify people because the adults I grew up around instilled that in me through example.
Throughout my travels, I have been learning a lot about differences in culture. I have had patience for what appears to be selfishness in some indigenous tribes because they were born into fighting for food or dying of starvation. I can understand why women of certain populations behave much like slaves because that is the structure of the world they live in- it’s all they know. I am realizing more and more how my mindset has been shaped by the bubble that I grew up in, because it is all I have known. If you come from an environment that encourages behaviors, those will be the habits you unconsciously deem acceptable into adulthood. Seems pretty elementary to say it out loud… but when you spend 26 years of your life knowing nothing outside of experiencing the freedom of differences, options, and varying opinions that we do in America, it can be just as much of a cloud of misunderstanding and frustration.
Thank God for His grace. Thank God that He blesses us with revelations and love. I have recently felt so privileged in so many ways to have been on this journey for more than 9 months now, and to have my eyes and heart opened to so much. The fact that I come from a background that affords me to even be able to believe that a trip like this would be possible is a gift in itself. I might not be interested in pursuing the typical “American Dream” for myself… but to even have a concept of what that means- to dream, to have ambitions, to realize that God can send me around the world for 11 months, to live in a place where everyone doesn’t look the same as me – is something many people around the world have no concept of. The Lord is teaching me that I can continue to take a step back and ask to see every person as He sees them. Just as I meet some of the experiences of being harassed with a hardened heart, that is a different kind of blindness on my part. Jesus will choose tolerance and love every time. That doesn’t mean I have to condone or accept every behavior, but I do have to look at each individual for who they are- a child of our Lord. They are influenced by their environment just as I am by mine. We are of the same living God. That means they receive the same unconditional love that I do.. and that means I should show them the same Christ-like love and compassion that is free to all.
Thank you Lord that I can add another expectation to the list….
I expect my Father to continue to teach me things that will allow me to love bigger and deeper. Check in progress.
