I got pooped on by a gecko last night while lying in bed. One several of my teammates has have lice. One of my teammates hasn’t pooped in 4 days. One has been sick for 2 weeks straight. Beginning about 1am like clockwork, there is a rooster battle royal in the backyard until about 6am. Children’s bloodcurdling screams and crying at the top of their lungs is no longer a sound of emergency but is now background noise. Sometimes, I’m not sure if I’m smelling chicken poo or if there just wasn’t enough water in the bucket to force the human poo down the pipe. This is what World Race life looks like amidst the adorable pictures of kiddos and the breath taking scenery. This month I am learning what Paul meant when he said, “I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty. I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want” Philippian 4:12. This “mission” is not solely about serving a particular person or ministry, and it’s not about the conditions of our living space this month- it’s about the commission to this lifestyle. It’s irrelevant to the circumstances around me, and instead dependent upon the posture of my heart. I feel like my head knew that going in, but now in month 4 of this journey, my heart is beginning to really feel what that means.
This month we are working with Heart of Christ Ministries near Talanga, Honduras. It is a refuge for women who are victims of rape and incest and have decided to keep the baby, and also some babies who still live here even though their mothers may have run away. There is a team of nurses who leave their own families and come to live here for a week at a time to take care of all 16 children. They are saints. From sun up until sun down, they are the mothers and teachers of these kids… They even take on the name mommywhile here. We have had the privilege of joining in on some of this in the form of wrestling with the kids, chasing them around the yard, laughing uncontrollably at the 4 year old who repeats every word you say- including “You so cute!”, “You crazy!”, or even “You so fancy!”, helping them write their letters and numbers, making Christmas ornaments together, and holding sweet baby Ami while she sleeps. Another big part of our ministry has been helping prepare gift bags for the 4,000 kids HOC is delivering this year.
One of my favorite days so far is the second event held earlier this week- there will be 10 throughout this month where we load up the truck with the bags of candy and small toys to give out to children in remote, destitute towns. We started the morning counting out the 75 girls bags, 75 boys bags, and about 100 extras. Apparently, past experiences have made it clear that many more children will show up in addition to those registered for the event. By 8am we were riding down the road in the back of the tailgate, ready to share some Christmas joy! We arrived to a crowd already gathered outside the front doors, and their eyes began to light up as they saw us untie two big trunks from the top of the truck. Gracie, the president of HOC, does an excellent presentation about remembering why we celebrate Christmas. We wouldn’t have a birthday party for a friend with cake and lots of good food without inviting the guest of honor… so why do we throw big holiday parties and give each other lots of gifts without inviting Christ into His own celebration? Although she does it in a playful way aimed at the kids in the audience, I would venture to say many of the adults in the room stop and think for a minute- just like I did when I first heard her delivery. Watching some of the parents shove their kids towards the front of the line, I do question whether or not they really do get it, but one thing I do know is that the Holy Spirit moves the hearts that need to hear certain words. I know that these people have grown up with little to nothing. Apart from the little gift they receive that day, many of these children will have nothing else this Christmas. It really is a blessing to freely give, without knowing what the lasting effects may or may not be. Yet, the best part of the day came on the ride home.
We ended up having quite a few leftover gift bags after the event. SO on the way out of town, we drove down the dirt road honking the horn and yelling, “NINOS! NINOS, REGALOS!” Kids came rushing out of houses, down hills, and out from behind trees to see what was happening. When they realized it was a give away, they would sprint towards us to see what the gringas were throwing out of the back of this pick up truck! At one of the houses, there was a mother on the front porch who began shouting into the house commands to “put pants on the baby!” when she saw us passing by. The next thing we knew, the man went running by with the baby wrapped in a towel, and then a few moments later came flying down the driveway towards us. Each of the children were so surprised; their faces were plastered with true, genuine joy and gratitude. It felt like we were in the best Christmas parade ever 🙂
So between the once a week bucket shower which I’m pretty sure leaves me with a constant residue of shampoo film, the war on lice, the wasp nest outside my bedroom, the extreme emotional energy spent with those living here, the breeding ground for mosquitos where I sleep, the struggle of waking up tangled in my mosquito net to protect myself from said breeding ground, the toll this “” life “” lack of sleep, little to no room to run, no control over what I eat has had on my body, being on lock-down all but 6 hours a week because the dangers of Honduras (the murder capital of the world) this time of year, and the general chaos that is normal in this environment, I have to ask myself Gracie’s question… what do I really have to give to Christ for His birthday? I believe that experiences are never arbitrary. I know I am here at this time in this place for specific purpose. This month, I think maybe what I am seeing is the beginning glimpse of the only thing I truly do have to give, and that is obedience to continue to know and serve Him. That in these moments of discomfort and exhaustion, I can choose to continue to let Him in more and to give more Jesus. He gave it all in spite of much more discomfort, pain, and exhaustion than I will ever experience. Allowing Him into those spaces where I feel totally drained and to where my tank begins to dwindle is something I have withheld for quite some time. Gracie has a tradition of writing down your gift to Christ for the year, and I know what I will be writing down- vulnerability and commitment to pursue what that means to get to know more of Him and obedience to pick up my cross and truly follow Him. I would encourage everyone to toss around this question- what are you going to give Christ on His birthday in 11 days?
