I want to share with you why Im going in the mission field. Its important to me that you know my heart and purpose. The call started when I was a child. When I first learned what a missionary was I wanted to be one! It wasn’t an obvious call. It was exciting to me. I loved God and it would be fun to teach people about Him. I was young and my goals for what I wanted to be when I grew up changed all the time. When I was in the second grade my brother died. He was 26 and he was my hero. My brother was so amazing in my eyes. When he died I went in to a deep depression for years. I went through years of having no self worth. The devil had me convinced there was nothing good about me and I was a waste. My amazing parents were right there with me helping me get through it. My mom was right by my side to hold me, cry with me and remind me that to God Im valuable and He loves me beyond all understanding. Thank God for blessing me with parents that love Him! Finally in high school I was free of the depression! I was happy! I loved myself! I smiled and laughed all the time. This was a growing period for me in the Lord. My parents had such an influence on me having a relationship with God. I was raised to put God first. Going to church on Sundays was never an option, my parents guided me in the way I should go not the way everyone else was going. I did not like this at all in high school and voiced it but at the same time deep down I knew they were right. Ive never been one to put my all in something. I always put just enough effort to get by. I hated school. I would always do just enough to play sports. I liked sports but still never put my all in it. Just did enough to play never put any extra effort in it. Nothing has ever been that important to me to put my all in it for any length of time. I had no desire at all to go to college and had no clue what I would want to stick with as a career for the rest of my life. Shortly after high school I lost my focus on God and got distracted by this world. I started partying – I was having fun – I thought. I can honestly say the only reason I am here right now is because God never let me go! He fought for me! After around 4 years the devil finally got me so far down that I was desperate for God again. I was 24 when I gave my life completely back to Him – I will never forget His love and grace toward me. How wonderful is the Lords amazing grace! I fell completely in love with God like never before all I wanted was to be in His presence. I wanted to tell the world how great God is! The next few years in my life was all about growing in God and learning more about Him and putting the past behind me. It was hard to put the past behind me and keep walking forward because the devil kept reminding me of what I was and what I had done. Thank God for surrounding me with strong women and men of God that helped me realize that this was the devil. They reminded me of who God says I am and He can not lie! I quickly realized that God was my only desire – He consumed me. For the first time in my life I found something I wanted to put my all in!! Something of real value! This is who I was – this defined me – not my job or how successful I was or wasn’t in the business world. I wanted to live my life for God and God only. I remember thinking about what an amazing life I have had. God blessed me with the most amazing parents in the world, wonderful sisters and a brother. He blessed me with the opportunity to travel overseas in high school and many family vacations. I’ve never been abused, neglected or without. God has given me a wonderful life – now I wanted to give Him my life in return. I gave Him the rest of life to use me for His purpose not mine! I wanted to live my life completely for God! Missions started coming back to me. I remembered my desire as a child. It wasn’t a major confirmation at this point. I had never been on a mission trip, so I didn’t want to commit until God removed all doubt. I wanted to do His will for my life not my will. At 26 I was blessed with the opportunity to go on my first mission trip as a chaperone with our youth group. This was important to me. I knew this would be the confirmation either way. God confirmed it! I didn’t want to come home. I cried the entire bus ride home from FL to SC. I was so sure, I wanted to quit my job and go back right away! No planning – just faith. I had a month to make my decision. Even though I loved it and didn’t want to come home – was this where God wants me and is this the right time? I knew what Anna wanted but is this what God has for me? So I prayed asking God for a now answer. He clearly answered me. My heart was broken! He spoke to me through a lovely woman of God I went to church with. Even though my heart was breaking I knew God had my best interest in His heart. After all, my life is the Lords life I will only go where He wants me. Its not about my own desires. Waiting for His promise has been very hard! I praise Him for keeping me here long enough to spend valuable time with my parents, sisters, nieces, nephews and great niece. He has blessed me with extra time with my family and I am grateful! I have to admit though, my heart was longing for my future in God. Although it was hard, it was also amazing. God has completely changed me. The Lord has been right beside me – growing me, loving me, correcting me, teaching me. Most importantly He has continually shown me how great He is! He has worked miracles in my life that only He can do! So what led me to the world race now? A couple weeks before Christmas God put the urgency in heart to search for missions on-line. He led me to google and the first thing that popped up was the world race. I loved it! I felt like this was it. I didn’t want to rush into anything so I kept looking but the world race was the only thing that kept my attention. So I prayed about it. The next day at church I asked my pastors wife to be in prayer with me about this decision. I couldn’t go to sleep that night until I filled out the application. It was clear to me this was it. I have no doubts this is where He wants me. God has confirmed it and has been right beside me through this process. Im so excited to see how God will use me! He has given me a heart for people who are desperate for Him. I want to share Gods love with people who don’t feel loved. I want the hopeless to know there is always hope in God. I know Im going to miss my family and it will be hard being apart from them but I have eternity to spend with them and only a short time here on earth. I want God to make my life count for His purpose. I want my life to be Gods life.
