Last year, about this time, I was going through a point in my life that I felt the most distant from God.
Yes – I was a Christian… I have been since I accepted Christ at 5 years old… but I was in a place where I didn’t feel like the Bible, or even God, could be a part of my life. The way I was living was far from Christian-like and, even though I was hurting and was convicted of my actions, I felt shame whenever I even thought about reaching for my Bible. I felt unworthy. I felt like a hypocrite…
So I avoided it.
To be honest, at this point, I even avoided church. I went sometimes, but that was for my image and to get out of the house.
I tried to make it appear to others that I still had everything together and that my Christian life was okay… but God knew better. He knew the truth.
My soul became weary… and so did I.
Even beginning the Race, I was sill avoiding my Bible. My teammates noticed this and called me on it. Not only did they challenge me to dig-in more, to open my Bible… to read, to learn, to accept, to grow…. They began opening it for me.
(PSALM 62:1-12)
For God alone my soul waits in silence;
from him comes my salvation.
He alone is my rock and my salvation,
my fortress; I shall not be greatly shaken.
How long will all of you attack aman
to batter him,
like a leaning wall, a tottering fence?
They only plan to thrust him down from his high position.
They take pleasure in falsehood.
They bless with their mouths,
but inwardly they curse. Selah
For God alone, O my soul, wait in silence,
for my hope is from him.
He only is my rock and my salvation,
my fortress; I shall not be shaken.
On God rests my salvation and my glory;
my mighty rock, my refuge is God.
Trust in him at all times, O people;
pour out your heart before him;
God is a refuge for us. Selah
Those of low estate are but a breath;
those of high estate are a delusion;
in the balances they go up;
they are together lighter than a breath.
Put no trust in extortion;
set no vain hopes on robbery;
if riches increase, set not your heart on them.
Once God has spoken;
twice have I heard this:
that power belongs to God,
and that to you, O Lord, belongs steadfast love.
For you will render to a man
according to his work.
I was reading the other day in a Bible study I’m doing on this app called “She Reads Truth” and the title of the study was “Open your Bible”. I’ve copied an excerpt of the study below because I know it spoke to me… It was exactly what I needed to hear a year ago!
Maybe you feel lost… or maybe you’ve been hurt by something so badly that you see no point in opening your Bible. Maybe the very words within the Bible that have the POWER to comfort you and RESTORE you are what remind you instead of your guilt or your hurt.
Or, perhaps, you’re just afraid of what you’ll find.
It’s possible you haven’t opened your Bible lately – or ever – because it’s not important. You may believe it’s good and true for others, but not necessarily for you.
Or maybe, you think you have the basics and don’t need to dig down deeper.
Maybe it IS important to you, but you can never seem to find the time. It’s not urgent enough.
But here’s the thing – the Bible IS for you and it IS for right now (no matter what)!
It’s for you if you’ve never read it, and it’s for you if you have 17 doctorates in theology. It’s for the moments you’re so overcome with grief that your body forgets to breathe in-and-out on its own.
It’s for when you feel SO much SHAME and GUILT that you’re embarrassed to see your own hypocritical hands even holding the Bible (like I was).
And, it’s for the time you really don’t have time to open the pages for yourself.
Well…. Here’s the thing:
YOU, right where you are, do not have to wait for someone to take you by the hand to open the pages of scripture (like I did). YOU can open the Bible JUST AS YOU ARE!
Nothing you are doing, have done, or will do renders you ineligible for the good news of the Gospel.
All of the things you imagine you’ve done wrong when it comes to your “quiet time”… the lostness you feel when you consider opening the Bible for the very first time… LET THEM GO!
Understand here and now that YES, this Book is Holy, Sacred and GOOD!
But that’s just it… this book exists for moments like this: grief, guilt, unworthiness, lostness…
The moment you finally lay it open and allow yourself to look for HIM!
(Isaiah 40:8)
The grass withers, the flower fades,
but the word of our God will stand forever.
I shared a brief part of my testimony with the ladies’ Bible Study class at our home in Peru… and then I read them this about digging into the Bible no matter where you are coming from!
Afterwards we did an activity that my dear friend Kristin showed to me…… where you find promises and words that God proclaims about you and TO you in an acrostic poem with your name.
It was so awesome to see these women – young and old – looking through the Bible for promises… for declarations… for words spoken about them by our loving Savior that personally related to them through their very name!
Mine – that Kristin made for me – is as follows:
A (Able) : 2 Peter 1:3
N (Nestled) : Psalm 91:4
N (Never alone) : Deuteronomy 31:8
A (Adopted) : Ephesians 1:4-6
L (Loved) : Jeremiah 31:3
A (Abundant life) : John 10:10
U (Understood) : Psalm 139
R (Redeemed) : Titus 2:14
E (Enough) : 2 Corinthians 12:9
N (New creation) : 2 Corinthians 5:17
So, I challenge you… If you find yourself in a place like I was last year, where you just don’t feel worthy enough…. or you just don’t understand why you should open your Bible and have that relationship with YOUR God… use the index of your Bible and go find verses, promises, words, declarations that YOUR heavenly Father has made over YOU and your name! (or… ask me and I’ll do it for you!)
