Sometimes I wonder how I got so lucky that God chose me to embark on this amazing journey that is the World Race. And then I wonder why he chose me. I had my entire life planned out, but God said “that isn’t where I’ve called you” and led me in a direction I never expected. I was so angry and confused. I had been planning on that life for so long. Without realizing, it had become my idol. I focused so much time and attention on achieving my goal that I had shut God out.
When I first felt the call to missions, I ignored it. I didn’t want to face it because I was so afraid of what would happen if I turned my back on college and the plans I had for my future. If I ever have children, I want to be able to give them a secure home and life that I didn’t have as a child. I was so focused on the security that I thought a college degree and a good job would give me that I lost focus on the one who can give me all the security I need.
Now as the funding deadlines approach I once again find myself stressed and plagued with doubt and fear of all the things that could go wrong. Fundraising has never been a strength of mine. I’m a horrible procrastinator and I always push things off until the very last minute. I know that I have begun this journey for a reason and even if I cannot finish it due to funding, God had a reason for placing me here. Beginning this process has helped me bring my focus back to God. I am learning to trust only him for my security. No earthly possessions can guarantee security in this life.
