Welp we are in CAMBODIA!!
This month in two words: sweaty bodies.
Our team is located in a town near Phnom Penh. Our days are long & filled with a lot of unknowns. Our hosts & their team of about 15 work with the organization In Better Hands, based out of the states. Their main vision is church planting & providing housing, food & education for underprivileged children.
It’s the Khmer New Year, which means lots of fun games, numerous baby powder wars, & dance parties to the same 3 songs! We have only been here for a week & have spent a majority of time celebrating with the children as well as visiting several village church plants. We are seeing the poorest of the poor & walk most places or ride in Dino the tuk tuk. 🙂
This month has been tough in the physically. So along with that comes feelings of homesickness. Our living conditions are the most uncomfortable that we have had on the race. We have no a/c so we sweat throughout the day and night. Our bodies are constantly working to cool us off so exhaustion is very real.
(My humble abode: note the blanket is for a comfort from home NOT warmth haha)
Honestly, this month I have wanted to choose out a lot. Ive been in hard living conditions before on missions trips, but back then I knew I would be going home in 2 weeks. But at the end of these two weeks, I wont be going home. Ill be going on to another country, and chances are its gonna be just as hot & humid.
So as I stood playing the Cambodian version of steal the bacon, sweating through my basketball shorts & t-shirt just wanting relief & to feel like a normal beautiful woman again, my mind started wandering.
I realized I had a choice. I could choose in or I could choose out.
Choose in & choose abandonment.
OR
Choose out & miss out on what the Lord wants to teach me.
Unfortunately, for the past 3 months Ive been choosing out a lot more than ive been choosing in. I have spent too much time & money looking for ways to make these 11 months as comfortable as possible.
Chocolate.
American food.
Wifi.
Regularly talking with family & friends back home.
Snacking.
These are not wrong in & of themselves. They are wrong when I seek them out more than I seek out God & loving on the people around me. They are wrong when they consume my thoughts & make me want to be home rather than here.
When I came on the race, I thought abandonment would be easy because I would be forced into it. Well I was wrong.
ITS A CHOICE.
I have to choose abandonment on a daily, scratch that, hourly basis. As a wise woman in my life says : “It’s a moment-by-moment walk”. I say this all the time back home but am actually HAVING to walk it out now. In the states, I can get by most days in my own strength. Here though, its a constant prayer of “I cant but you can”.
I’m constantly needy! And I hate being needy, because I view it as a weakness. But my gracious God views it as a strength. Crazy, I know! Haha Weakness though brings me back to the fact that my life is not my own. I didnt come on this race for my own purposes. I came on this race for Jesus’ name to be spread. Not Anna Beth’s.
Ive been fighting this for the past three months, but now I’m really choosing in. For the next 7 months. Its not gonna be easy. Its not gonna be fun. BUT it is gonna be worth it.
So please be praying for me. That I will choose in.
God has never failed to meet my NEEDS & He isn’t gonna start now just cause I’m out of America & “out of control”.
These are the things I’m choosing to abandon:
– A fly swatter
– looking beautiful & put together
– Living in the same country as my family & friends
– Stylish clothes
– Having what I want when I want it
– Sweet tea
– Living the American dream
– A/c at a fingers touch
– Fearing Man over God
– Shame of the past
– Independence (doing what I want to do when I want to do it)
– Defiance of authority
– A schedule
– Trying to fix people when they just need someone to listen
– A regular size pillow & a comfy king size bed
– Taking a shower without shoes on
– Fear of rejection
– control
