MONTH 5, we are in THAILAND and I am on a new team with 6 more amazing, encouraging, faithful, funny, God-fearing women!
We are a wee bit isolated this month so wifi is limited, which has been so good to have one less distraction. This month we get to hang out with a super sweet Thai pastor named TJ. He and his wife have lived in Rayong for over ten years & have an incredible heart for church planting as well as evangelism. Most of our days are spent driving at least an hour to visit various members of the church as well as new believers to encourage & pray over their businesses, families, & homes.
It hasn’t been all daisies & sunflowers though.
Ive been wrestling a lot with God.
Ive been stuffing God into a box & allowing fear to reign rather than trust.
Here is an excerpt from my journal with one such example:
“Yesterday we got to go to a juvenile detention facility & 6 young men decided to commit their lives to Christ!!
Sadly, my heart & mind were consumed with this fear that they didn’t get the whole gospel message.
I was afraid of the inauthenticity of their decision. I thought they felt pressure to become believers.
I was afraid of the language barrier getting in the way.
I had a hard time trusting that our translator, who we just met two days before, was really preaching gospel truth.
I was afraid that we had left these guys with no one to disciple them & no Bible to guide them.
Some of those guys leave in 10 days.
They’ve just made this HUGE life changing decision & dont know what to do next.
Father, I have chosen to let all this fear keep me from celebrating that these precious souls had just been saved from eternal damnation! They just began the most important relationship they will ever be a part of!
YOU ARE SO MUCH BIGGER THAN THE DETAILS!
I’m sorry for letting my fear contain you & allowing it to rule me rather than trust in your ability. You are so much greater than my broken conclusions. You are deeper & stronger than my eyes can see!!!
If those young men really are your children, you are NEVER going to give up on pursuing them.
You are going to keep putting men & women who love You in their paths.
I ask you to provide them with Bibles so they can know more about You.
Until then, continue to meet them right where they are.
Reveal yourself to them in dreams or whatever way you see as best.
I’m letting go of control & the God I’ve made you…
Help me to not get caught up in the details & precise wording. May I rejoice that CHRIST is being preached & trust you to take are of the details. :)”
“Whether their motives are false or genuine, the message about Christ is being preached either way, so I rejoice…” Philippians 1:18
This month is a month of punching down the walls of the box I have put God in for so long. It’s a process because there are so many layers of tape on it, even John Cena couldn’t punch through it.
Ministry may not always be done the way I would have preferred for it to be done. It’s not always going to be comfortable. I may not agree with all the details of things.
BUT GOD is sovereign over all that. I have to trust Him. I have to ask Him to give me His eyes to understand what is going on. Rather than seeing various situations through the lens of theological differences or unknown motives.
I have to choose to let God be Lord over the details & choose celebration over doubt or division among believers.
