The waiting really is the hardest part, no really, it is. Since getting home from training camp I have been fighting bitterness, frustration, anxiety, fear and restlessness. I am ready to go. Right now. Let's go. The funny thing, and I mean truly funny is that God has been teaching me the importance of being here, now. I have been so much more in tune with what He's trying to teach me. It's almost as if my ears have really been opened. A few days ago I woke up and was just so beside myself with anxious energy and nothing I could do to satisfy it in any way. I tried playing with my fourteen year old cocker spaniel "Holly" and she gave up on me after five minutes, tried reading, tried meditating, tried watching a movie, and finally started cooking. I chopped, diced, drained, poured, seasoned, and then it all started coming together. As I waited (impatiently) for my red sauce to come together I realized that even though the waiting really is the hardest part, it's often the time you learn the most about yourself. I am impatient, I like results and answers. I ate my pasta thoughtfully wondering how much of a laugh God was getting out of me at that moment. I prayed, again, this time earnestly and humbly. I asked for patience and to be open. After a food induced nap I woke up to my phone going nuts with text messages, our launch date had been set. It had been posted on facebook, and my internet failed, again. Shannon, a lovely young woman from my squad, messaged me telling me that we need to meet in Atlanta on June 6th. I was so excited I jumped for joy and danced around my house singing. When I got home from nannying that night a package was waiting for me from my team leader Sara, a couple of mix CD's of worship music. A day that had begun with such restless anxiety ended in such a joyful peace. God will provide, my squad will do great things, we will be changed and change the world. Thank you for reading!
