Jumping off of things is hard. Personally I have to work myself up to do it. The first time I went off the high dive, in college and it was Olympic height, I had to have two friends in the water below and had to run like crazy so that I wouldn’t be able to stop when I reached the edge.
I had issues letting go of the bar when I learned how to trapeze.
I remember sitting up on top of the monkey bars as a kid and looking down into the pile of leaves that my sisters and I had raked and sifted through (NO STICKS!). All I could think was, “I wonder what color cast I will get?” My sisters would be urging me to jump and I finally let go.
I let go.
I jumped off the monkey bars.
I let go of the trapeze bar.
I sprinted off the high dive platform.
I closed my eyes tight and screamed, and my mind went to a blank slate of “AHHHH!”
The rush of the air over me, in some cases screaming in my ears louder than my own scream, or was it? But suddenly it would all stop, I was covered in leaves, the net caught me and the pool engulfed me.
The fall is typically the most terrifying part. It’s the part where I scream, have last second doubts about what I’ve just done, but they’re all laid to rest by the catch.
But what if I can’t see “the catch”?
While I was praying today God reminded me of a tender moment that I had witnessed between a father and a daughter. She was up on a balance beam and her dad was at the end holding his arms out to catch her. She didn’t run back to gain momentum, ask for him to have back up, or scream like all hell when she jumped off.
She got set and jumped with everything she had and stretched her arms out to reach her dad. He caught her and she squealed for joy. Trust. That kind of act takes trust.
Pretty soon it was God and I. I was on the balance beam and He was standing at the end with his arms out. He was just far enough away that I couldn’t reach out and touch him.
“Come on Ann. I’ve got you.” He beckoned. I look over my shoulder at the rest of the beam. I’ve balanced this far.
“Come on sweetheart, I’ve never dropped you and I never will. Trust me.”
I took a deep breath and looked down, it was a lot further than I thought.
“Ann, that doesn’t matter, you’re not going to fall and it’s going to be great. It’s going to be worth the jump I promise.” His voice is so good and so full.
I took a deeper breath, got set and jumped. The in-between was uncertain, strange and almost scary, but before I knew it I was in His powerful and loving arms.
“Good girl Ann. I want you to know I don’t love you more because you jumped, but I am so glad you did. Trust me. Trust me. Trust. I love you. I love you. I love you. I have good stuff in store for you. I want only good things for you my daughter.”
The jump will be uncertain, strange, and scary, but in the end I trust that the jump will be worth the catch. At the end of the day, I can trust the one who’s catching me.
