part 1/4
thought i’d come on here, be a little more vulnerable, and share a little bit of what the Lord has been teaching me in my personal devos (and what i ended up speaking on at squad church!)
to be honest, these first couple weeks in Costa Rica have been a little bit of a whirlwind for me, spiritually. first, as i left home, stayed in Georgia for a couple days and then flew to Costa Rica, i had a lot to process with God about the way i had spent my time at home (read: i felt like i had wasted it). and then i was adjusting to life here and figuring out what living in community with my squad looks like in a different country and after not seeing each other for a month. there was a lot to pray about, but after two weeks, i felt like i was finally coming out of this weird period of catching up with the Lord, and we could focus more on this new season.
and then i was stuck.
what book of the Bible did He want me to read? what was He trying to teach me? what was i supposed to be working on? i didn’t know the answers to any of these questions, and at the same time, we were starting ministry. i felt like i wasn’t ready to throw myself into serving when i felt like i had no connection to God every time i had quiet time.
then Madie, our squad mentor, taught on what it meant to be living out of an orphan heart vs. your sonship (or daughtership!) in God for squad church, and Kevin, one of staff here on the AIM base, taught on Teaching Tuesday to the whole squad about the gospel of the kingdom. basically, having an orphan spirit means that you live life as if you don’t have a secure place in the Father’s heart, and the gospel of the kingdom is what Jesus preached when He was doing ministry here – loving people from a place of being loved by the Father.
that phrase right there, “love from a place of being loved”, has been a big theme throughout my whole Race. it was something my alumni team leader, Alicia, talked a lot about, and recently, something the Lord’s been putting on my heart to live out more.
after Kevin spoke, Madie challenged all of us to sit with the Lord and ask Him what it looks like for us to each individually have a “love encounter” with Him. were we living out of an orphan spirit and trying to be good people out of our own strength? or were we receiving love from God each day, so that we could love the people around us with His heart for them?
the answer for me was definitely not. after processing the past month or so with God, i had just been striving, instead of just abiding with God. it had been so long since i had had a “love encounter” with Him, and i needed it so badly.
so i opened up my kindle and started reading The Reason for God by Timothy Keller.
