The ground was hot, and the Belizean sun beaming down on me was even hotter. I found myself on the side of the road with a man named Raphael who was leaning against me, as I slowly lowered him to the ground trying to prevent him from passing out again and hitting his head.
I tore pieces of bread and hand fed them to him in between giving him sips of water. To be honest I hadn’t seen someone this drunk since my Senior Year when I looked into the mirror and hated who I had become.
I hurt for him.
I knew what it was like to feel helpless in that state, and I know the pain it takes to get someone to that point.
Every piece of bread I placed in his mouth he muttered the words, “I love you.” And though he was drunk out of his mind I said the words right back to him. Something within me loved him, and that was all that mattered.
Later that afternoon, Raphael sobered up and managed to find us back at Mayflower Street. It was nothing less than a divine appointment.
I was eager to hear his story now that he could actually communicate with me, and I asked him how I could pray for him. Most people in this situation ask for me to pray for their Aunt Susie’s sick hamster, but not Raphael. He wanted healing, and he wanted the chains of his addiction to be broken. He cried out to the Lord during our prayer, and I know in my heart he let Jesus heal the parts of his life that were so dark and filled with pain.
His chains were broken and the love of Jesus met him right where he was at. He didn’t need to clean himself up or do good works before He came before the Father… Our Holy, Righteous, compassionate Father came down and met him right where he was at: Once by making Himself into man, and then again on that hot Belizean pavement.
Now let’s state the obvious… I am not a man.
I am a strong, independent, woman of the Lord.
I don’t wait for a man to lead me when I so clearly hear My Father guiding my footsteps and leading me in love. Sadly, if I were to be honest… if I waited for a man to “lead me” I probably wouldn’t do half the stuff I’ve done in my walk with Jesus.
“Women can’t minister to men.”
- The man will think she has other motives.
- It could be really dangerous.
- It can’t be taken seriously.
- Men put up a hard exterior front around women.
Tim was the roughest man I have ever met. He was a manly man, and you could tell he took crap from no one. In between his yelling and cursing I managed to ask him about his tattoo. For 30 seconds the walls came down as Tim told me about his son and his mom that he lost a couple of years ago. I could see the hurt that filled his heart slowly turn from anger to sadness. He snapped back into his hard exterior, took our payments, and we were on our way.
Convicted, I looked over at my squad mate, Mardie and told her I felt like the Lord was calling us to go back to Tim.
How can I travel across the world witnessing to people when I can’t even do it in my home- town?
We asked the Lord for strength, and knowing that Tim’s shop was already closed… We told the Lord that if Tim was sitting outside we would go talk to him.
Sure enough we pull into the parking lot… and there sat Tim.
“Listen, this is going to sound crazy and honestly I can’t tell you why we are here other than the Lord wanted us to come back to you.”
Tim began to laugh at us as we explained what we felt the Lord was laying on our hearts.
I can’t tell you every word we said, but I know the Lord wanted Tim to know that He saw him and his pain. He knew what it felt like to lose a Son, and Tim was not alone.
Tim’s laughs turned into cries as he realized he was having a divine encounter with his Father. All he could get out through the tears was, “Why are you here?”
He soon answered His own question by saying, “I know why you are here and I know why God sent you to me. I needed this. I needed Him.”
Jesus did a work in Tim’s heart that night and I truly believe He experienced the love of the Father for the very first time.
I am sharing all of this not to say, “Look at me and what I have done.” I am sharing my heart because I refuse to believe that God couldn’t use me because I am a woman. Should I have waited for a man to come along and do the job, and if I would have… how long would it have taken?
God is willing and He is able to use whatever heart is humbled to listen to His call.
Women… we are freaking awesome.
Where would Timothy be without Gma Lois and mama Eunice?
Where would Jesus be without His mother Mary?
Where would Esther’s people be without her bravery?
Where would Moses be without Pharaoh’s daughter?
These women were put in dangerous situations and they didn’t refuse their call because they were women. They embraced the strength and beauty the Lord gave them and used it for the good of those around them, and for the Glory of their Father.
Women rock. We freakin rock.
Now please don’t get me wrong… I am not a crazy feminist. I believe in wives submitting to their husbands, and I cant wait to do ministry alongside of my future husband as his meek partner… not weak servant. I am eager and excited to be led by him and trust him as He follows the Lord with his whole heart. I am excited to be married for a whole lotta reasons… booyah, but I am most excited about being led by a man who loves first our God and then me.
So I am in no way elevating myself over a man or taking authority over a man. Men… you rock too! And us women are blessed to have you!
Therefore, the leader of my life is God. I go where He calls me and I do what He tells me, and He hasn’t failed me yet.
Women,
This doesn’t mean I am telling you to go talk to any man you find, nor am I telling you to put yourself in a dangerous situation. I am telling you to be sensitive to the Spirit and to stop putting God in a box just because you aren’t a dude.
YOU ARE AWESOME.
You are strong.
You are fearless.
And you might be someone’s last encounter before they step out into an eternity. Don’t wait on a man to do what you think is a “man’s job.”
We are ALL called to love and to be God’s witnesses.
And the same spirit that is within you… is the same spirit God has placed within man.
So… be open to what the Spirit has in store for you. God is faithful and will not lead you astray. Embrace being a woman of the Lord, because God has made you for such a time as this!
You rock, lady! Your body was made to give life and endure the worst pain in the world! You are strong, yet nurturing enough to sympathize with those hurting and in need. You can do hard things.
You are awesome.
You are worthy.
You were made for this.
