I am finding that when God takes me to a new level of trust with Him it often looks messy, pretty dysfunctional, and it might take a few tries before I get it right.
Praying to have “trust without borders” sounds less wild and romantic when you are in the middle of even learning how to trust. It feels more shaky – like I am out on a limb – and the one thing you have to hold onto to is Jesus. While I know He is always with me, if I’m being honest there are times where I would prefer something a little more concrete. Concrete like a plan, a list, or an idea that if I just work hard enough at will pan out like pie. I like it better when I am in control of what is going on. But that is not the definition of trust, trust is letting it out of my own hands and knowing that He, Jesus, has got this.
I am learning to trust in the Lord with all my strength. I am not doing it perfectly, but thank goodness for grace.
I am learning to trust in a way that is deeper than I have before. It is scary and uncertain, but beautiful and humbling at the same time.
This past weekend I spent some time in the woods backpacking in Glacier National Park. It is somehow easier for me to hear from God when the creation around you screams of His glory. I laid on the shore of the lake and prayed, waiting for words that could bring me the peace I sought.
Out in the wild, I was reminded that life is not about having the money I need, about planning all the details of the world around me, or about making these things around me make sense.
Rather, it is about laying all out on the line for my faith in Jesus Christ, about loving the people around me, and it is about trusting that the God of this universe loves me so much He would never leave me.
So, I found peace in my resolve to surrender again, and to remember to surrender again tomorrow.
I trust that these moments of learning to trust more deeply are more important than the needs I see.
I trust as I walk forward, leaning on Jesus.
With that said I would like to ask for your prayer
– Pray for my squad as they are preparing to head to training camp in a few weeks.
– Pray for me as I get ready to lead said squad.
– Pray for the people we are headed out to meet on the field, as God prepares the way.
I am still working on fundraising for squad leading.
If you are interesting in supporting me, send me an email at [email protected]
Here is a list of some of my needs:
A plane ticket to launch – about $280
Covering the cost of my healthcare bills – $440
Taking care of some medical needs here before leaving – ?
Another great way to support me is to purchase a tee-shirt from my Etsy store, Home Free Tees. easy.com/shop/homefreetees
All the shirts are originally designed and all the profits go to directly to supporting me.
Thanks so much
Love Nika
