Malaysia is without a doubt, the friendliest and most hospitable country we’ve been to on the Race thus far. Seriously, as my team mate Nikki put it, Disneyland may be the “happiest place on Earth” but Malaysia is the “friendliest place on Earth”. We’re treated like royalty here…wherever we go, whatever we do. People at home don’t treat us the way Malaysians treat us. Every time we enter a new town to do ministry with a Tamil Methodist Church and their pastor, we are greeted with not only the pastor’s smiling face, but the entire smiling faces of the church congregation. In all of the cities and towns we’ve been to (Kuala Krai, Kuantan, and now Sitiawan) we have been the only American/Western missionaries to come serve at these churches ever and I have never felt more loved in my life because of their grace and hospitality. These brothers and sisters in Christ don’t just let us into their home, they take the saying “mi casa es su casa” to a whole new level.
Every day we have at least three meals a day. Breakfast is usually just as a team and the pastor, but a few times church friends from the area have taken us out to eat. Lunch is almost always at someone’s house and they will always make an Indian feast of chicken curry, chapatti, rice, cabbage, vegetables, mutton, lentil soup, and roti. There is usually tea or “Milo”, which is like hot chocolate or Ovaltine. We are treated with the same love and respect you would treat someone like Mother Teresa or Nelson Mandela…seriously these Malaysian friends of ours go all out. We’ve had friends write us notes, give us gifts, make us food, take us to get food, have us over to talk, take us to do culture things, etc. etc. etc. The funniest story was this past week in Sitiawan when we went to Pastor David’s mother-in-law’s house in Ihop, Malaysia.
We were welcomed into her home and she immediately had us sitting in comfortable chairs watching her television. After a few minutes of chatting she decided to make us some drinks and snacks. She came back into the living room and said, “Please, there are many free beds in this house…go take a nap if you want.” All of us looked at each other, mildly giggled and said, “No that’s alright, we’re fine here.” and she continued to insist that we must be tired from all the evangelizing and ministering all over. Finally, about half of our team (including me) caved and went into the bedrooms of her and her husband and her two daughters and took “a rest” as she called it. It was glorious, especially to wake up to hot “Milo” being served with peanut butter and jelly sandwiches. Talk about people being the hands and feet of Jesus to ME and my team!
When I returned to the living room to chat with her some more I asked her where her toilet was, and she immediately got up and said, “Yes, yes, you’re more than welcome to take a bath if you want! Go ahead, all the shampoo and soap is in there!” I was taken aback by this one. Yes, I had just taken a nap in this woman’s bed…a woman I had literally just met that afternoon. But a bath? In HER house? I don’t know. Well, I declined and just used her squatty potty to “relieve myself” as they call it. So why are these people the way there are where we would not be caught dead doing anything like this in America? It’s simple. We’re different “Climate Cultures” according to writer, Sarah Lanier, and her book “Foreign to Familiar” that fortunately, I have read while being on the Race.
There are two different kinds of cultures in this world, “Hot Climate Cultures” and “Cold Climate Cultures”. America, Europe (not including the Mediterranean countries), Canada, New Zealand and Australia are “Cold Climate Cultures” where Africa, Asia, Central America (and the Caribbean), South America, the Middle East and the Mediterranean are all “Hot Climate Cultures. “Cold Climate Cultures” are very task oriented, where time and efficiency are of the upmost importance. They are all about making the most of their time and are always “penciling people in” for things and running from one planned event to another. People are usually very independent and being an individual is praised in this culture. In the privacy aspect of “Cold Climate Cultures” people enjoy having time and space to themselves and are expected to secure permission before borrowing items or interrupting an event or conversation. Having your own things and keeping your own things to yourself is fine, even if it means not including everyone all the time.
In a “Hot Climate Culture” everyone is relationship based. This society is concerned about feelings and communication first, and being task or business oriented second. People are always in groups, and working together as a unit is the most important aspect of this culture. Everyone is extremely inclusive, where individuals know they are automatically included in any conversation, meal, activity they choose to participate in the group. Possessions are shared freely by all, and having “alone time” is very rare and undesirable. It’s very rude to hold a private conversation or make plans that do not include everyone. Many events and activities are spontaneous and have no scheduled time of concluding.
As you can see, we Americans have gone from a “Cold Climate Culture” to a VERY “Hot Climate Culture”. Yes, we had been on the field for 5 months before our time in Malaysia, but I had never been around a community that was as selfless and loving as the Malaysians I have had the pleasure of getting to know these past few weeks. In all of the church’s we’ve been helping at, especially at the church in Kuantan and the one here in Sitiawan, over half the congregation members are related. Everyone lives near each other, usually in the same neighborhood, and everyone sees each other all the time. No one would ever label their food or possessions with their name on it, because they share everything, even with strange Americans like us. Other than Christ and their relationship with the Lord as number on in their lives, family is the most important thing in this culture. They are truly invested in each others lives.
It’s been so interesting to see the differences between my new Malaysian friends and myself. When I tell them that most of my family doesn’t even live in the same state as I do, they are shocked and very sad for me. Then I tell them this is normal and they are even more upset. When I told Pastor David’s mother-in-law that is would be extremely uncommon for someone to offer a bath to a stranger in their home, she didn’t understand why that could possibly be. These people have grown up without locking their doors, and with always putting relationship first. In America, there are still places where people come to their triple dead bolted doors with a shot gun when they hear a knock. We all live in very different cultures, and have had very different upbringings.
I have definitely loved sharing the uniqueness of a “Hot Climate Culture” for the last six months of my life, and the very unique boiling “Hot Climate Culture” of the Indian Malaysians the last three weeks of my life. To all the people that have let us stay in their homes, sleep in their beds, and shower in their bathrooms…thank you. To Pastor Jesudason, Pastor Samuel and Pastor David, we love you three and thank you for all your blessings of love. For all the new brothers and sisters in Christ who have made us food, given us love offerings, and shared your lives with us…thank you. You have no idea how much it means to me, and to the rest of my team, that you have poured into us so much. You all are truly a blessing and I am so thankful for you!! As they say in Tamil, “Nandri!!” (which means “Thank you!!”)
