Last month, my teammate Melissa challenged us to monologue. I thought about standing in the front of a room with a bright spotlight on me reading it and didn't really get too interested in that. However, after writing the first one very crappily, I started to really get into it. I was encouraged to share them with the world. I am going to spare you of the first one, but I will share with you the next two. The first was written in Honduras and describes my World Race experience. The second was written a couple days ago and describes my life over about the last month.
The Plunge
On the beach I stood without knowing what was in the water
Miles of sand to my left and right
The Waves Straight Ahead
I stood for what seemed years
Before dipping my toes in the waves that receded so far
I stayed there for a while
Only letting the water hit me occasionally as I sat in the sand
I debated whether it was worth it to get in the water.
I knew there were great things out there
BUT I didn’t know how rough the current was
How deep the water was
For a moment I couldn’t even remember if I knew how to swim.
The voice of the mighty ocean kept calling me to dive in
But I stayed on the beach for the beach was safe.
I had a solid ground beneath my toes
And there was refuge within sight in case of a storm.
In the water, I could be taken away by the current.
I got tired of sitting after a while.
As I got up from the sand, I felt really weak.
I had not been using my muscles for what seemed years.
I had not spoken and it was as if I had lost my voice.
As I started to leave for home, the beach began to diminish
And I was up to my waist in the ocean.
Then I heard the ocean say, “Just trust me.
I will take care of you.
You may struggle but you won’t die.”
You will gain life and wisdom and will be telling others to come get off the beach too.
So, I didn’t even hold my breath.
I stopped fighting
As I was submerged in the water,
All I could think about
Was how I wished I wouldn’t have sat on the beach
For so long wondering what was out there.
Here I stand, halfway up a mountain
When I look up, it looks like a pretty long trip to get to the top
When I look down, I don’t like what I see at the bottom.
On the top there are flowers and trees.
It is so glorious to be up there.
Everything is fun at the top.
It’s like a big party after you cross the finish line of a race.
Everyone is happy for you.
You feel proud of yourself and can enjoy victory.
The only bad thing about the top is you can’t stay there.
If you do, you will be the same forever. You can see the other mountain tops in the distance but you can’t tell what’s on them. The only way to get there is to go down the mountain you are on and then climb the other one.
So, here I stand halfway up the mountain, so desperately wishing I was climbing up to the top but I am heading downward. The last mountaintop was great. There were days that I couldn’t stop smiling thinking of all I had learned on the journey to the top.
Now, it’s time to begin a new journey.
As I descend this mountain, I wonder what God will teach me next.
I wonder what I will be enduring to get to the base of the next mountain and all the things I will encounter as I climb the next one.
I do know that each time the mountain gets a little taller.
I must stop and gain my breath often.
Sometimes I have to stop and lean on a few people for rest.
Sometimes, I have to stop at a midway point and tell myself I can make it the rest of the way but ALWAYS I must draw my strength from God.
I am not able to scale a mountain alone.
I would die of fatigue or starvation.
So, as I turn my body from looking upward to looking downward, I am reminded of David’s words as he was a frequent mountain climber.
“It is God who arms with with strength and makes my way perfect. He makes my feet like the feet of a deer; he enables me to stand on the heights.” (II Samuel 22:33-34)
I won’t fall down the mountain.
I will descend gracefully with hope that the next mountain will be greater than the last. I will lean on the one who can make my feet like a deer.
I will enjoy the journey both on the way up and on the way down.
I will stop standing and looking and keep heading downward.
I don’t know how long it will take me to get to the next mountain top but I do know when I get there the descent and the climb will be worth it.
