FURIOUS, UNENDING, UNBIASED, UNCONDITIONAL, UNQUENCHABLE, UNSTOPPABLE.. LOVE.
India. Each morning my alarm goes off at precisely 6:00am. I stumble through the darkness and over sleeping teammates to gather my shower bag, towel and water bottle. We all sleep in one large open space. Teams have come and gone throughout the month, leaving anywhere from 13 to 54 people living here at once. At the bathroom door I pause to slip on my shower sandals. The bathroom is a small square room. The tiles have yellowed with age. Muddied water pools on the floor. It has a western style toilet, which is a welcomed change from the usual squatty, and a modest sink. A red bucket sits on the floor under a spicket and there is a drain in the far corner. I shut the door behind me and begin to fill the bucket for my daily "shower." We have no hot water, but I am thankful; it is perhaps the only 5 minutes of the day that I do not sweat. When my shower is over, I brush my teeth with my bottled water. I have the routine down pat at this point. Sip. Toothpaste. Brush. Spit. Sip. Spit. Wipe. Rinse brush.
By 7.15, my team meets for breakfast. Although we are doing our own grocery-shopping this month, every breakfast is about the same; there isn't much variety in the tiny grocery store where we shop. We have fruit, usually bananas or apples, and a choice between cereal or muesli. We are lucky to have milk this morning. Although it is warm, it is cow's milk, which is more expensive than the water buffalo milk that most people can afford. It is a treat.
At 7:45, we walk down two flights of stairs to the street where my teammates and I talk to several auto drivers in hopes of getting a ride to the orphanage for only 8 rupees each (there are 55 Indian rupees to a US dollar. Do the math). This morning the drivers want 10. We agree, tired of haggling. All 6 of us cram in. The auto ride is one of my favorite parts of the day. It is bumpy and noisy and I usually have to sit in a lap or hang onto a bar since there are no doors, but the breeze is so welcomed in the Indian heat. We have several "near collisions" along the way but we have learned to trust the drivers. They are wild but skilled.
Around 8, we come to a stop at the orphanage gates. The smell of the orphanage greets us before we even step off the auto. It is a distinctive smell. It hangs in our clothes long after we leave at night and often even after hand-washing. Some days we are lucky and catch the school children before they leave for school. Today we missed them by 5 minutes according to the ayah (Indian worker) at the gate. She was an English teacher before she worked at Victory, although her English is still minimal.
Children run to the gate to greet us. We receive hugs, sloppy kisses and hi-fives. Wendy, 21, is always one of the first to greet me with a kiss on my hand and a big toothy smile. She has a kind, pretty face and long braided hair, but her left hand is crooked and she walks with a limp. Prakash, 10, is never far behind. He has a sweet, outgoing personality and is always curious about the ongoings at the orphanage, but a genetic disorder called Apert syndrome has caused abnormal fusing of his skull bones, fingers and toes.
These are just two of India's “cursed children.” They were abandoned by their families because of their disabilities, left in trash piles or cemetaries. Some were abandoned because their parents could not afford the expensive surgeries or medicine their child needed, but most consider them an evil omen and fear that contact with them would bring bad luck. They believe that the kids are responsible for this "curse:" if they hadn't committed terrible injustices in their past lives, they wouldn’t have to make up for them in their present one. Since everyone is responsible for their fate and karma, no one takes pity on them. And so they find refuge here, at Sarah's Covenant Home.
We spend the next 8 hours here, speaking life over each child, loving them, playing with them, kissing them. We come alongside their ayahs and help to feed them, bath them, to comb their hair for lice or whatever else is needed.
'Hugging children. What a typical mission trip,' you may be thinking.
You'd be wrong.
Think what you may, this is no easy task.
I would love to tell you that this comes naturally, but I'd be lying. There are moments each and every day where it literally requires everything in me to push passed the sight of deep open wounds, the stench of unwashed bodies and dried up pee and sweat, the smell of teeth that are rotting out of mouths and simply LOVE them. I have to continually make the choice to ignore the lice colonies I see in every child's hair and hug them to me like I mean it. Like I'll never let them go. It is a conscious effort. It is a choosing. But isn't love always?
I have become so desperate for God to fill me up each day because there is simply no way I can love like that. I cannot, but He can. His love is endless. It is unconditional. Unconditional. That word has been a steady rhythm in my thoughts during my time here. Every time I want to pull back from one of the kids, Papa has asked me to embrace them more. Unconditional. I am not to treat them like lepers, but to show them His unending, unstoppable, unbiased, unquenchable, ferociously unconditional… LOVE.
* * * * *
These are the words that have been spoken over these children their whole lives. These are the words whispered behind their backs. These are the labels of the "cursed," yet I propose to you that they are just the opposite. They are not and have never been cursed. They are and have always been the beloved.
"Abandoned"
He is a father to the fatherless and an advocate for widows. God rules from his holy palace (Psalm 68:5)
For He has said, ‘I will never leave you nor forsake you. (Hebrews 13:5b)
"Cursed"
Blessed are the poor in spirit, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven. (Matthew 5:2)
"Unwanted"
Even if my father and mother abandon me, the Lord will hold me close. (Psalm 27:10)
I chose you when I planned creation (Ephesians 1:11-12)
Are not five sparrows sold for two copper coins? And not one of them is forgotten before God. But the very hairs of your head are all numbered. Do not fear therefore; you are of more value than many sparrows. (Luke 12:6-7 )
"Unseen"
The LORD looks down from heaven and sees the whole human race. (Psalm 33:13)
"Forgotten"
Never! Can a mother forget her nursing child? Can she feel no love for the child she has borne? But even if that were possible, I would not forget you! See, I have written your name on the palms of my hands.” (Isaiah 49:15-16a)
"Unloved"
It is my desire to lavish My love on You simply because
you are My child and I am your Father (1 John 3:1)
My thoughts toward you are countless as the sand on the seashore (Psalm 139:17-18)
And I rejoice over you with singing (Zephania 3:17)
I will never stop doing good to you (Jeremiah 32:40)
For you are My treasured possession (Exodus 19:5)
I desire to establish you with all My heart, and with all My soul (Jeremiah 32:41)
And I want to show you great and marvelous things (Jeremiah 33:3)
"A Mistake"
You were not a mistake for all your days are written in My Book (Psalm 139:15-16)
You were fearfully and wonderfully made (Psalm 139:14)
I knit you together in your mothers womb (Psalm 139:13)
* * * * *
4 On the day you were born your cord was not cut, nor were you washed with water to make you clean, nor were you rubbed with salt or wrapped in cloths. 5 No one looked on you with pity or had compassion enough to do any of these things for you. Rather, you were thrown out into the open field, for on the day you were born you were despised.
6 “‘Then I passed by and saw you kicking about in your blood, and as you lay there in your blood I said to you, “Live!”[a] 7 I made you grow like a plant of the field. You grew and developed and entered puberty. Your breasts had formed and your hair had grown, yet you were stark naked.
8 “‘Later I passed by, and when I looked at you and saw that you were old enough for love, I spread the corner of my garment over you and covered your naked body. I gave you my solemn oath and entered into a covenant with you, declares the Sovereign Lord, and you became mine.
9 “‘I bathed you with water and washed the blood from you and put ointments on you. 10 I clothed you with an embroidered dress and put sandals of fine leather on you. I dressed you in fine linen and covered you with costly garments. 11 I adorned you with jewelry: I put bracelets on your arms and a necklace around your neck, 12 and I put a ring on your nose, earrings on your ears and a beautiful crown on your head. 13 So you were adorned with gold and silver; your clothes were of fine linen and costly fabric and embroidered cloth. Your food was honey, olive oil and the finest flour. You became very beautiful and rose to be a queen. 14 And your fame spread among the nations on account of your beauty, because the splendor I had given you made your beauty perfect, declares the Sovereign Lord.
Ezekiel 16:4-14
