There are so many things I miss while on the Race, things that are seemingly insignificant like listening to the slow guitar strumming of my favorite songs, doing my hair in a way that makes me feel like "me," the smell of oil paints on a night when I'm feeling extra inspired, closing my eyes in worship and opening them again to see my church family worshipping alongside me, the scent of clean laundry or the sweet smell of soft-baked cookies as it wafts through my bedroom door, film cameras, owning more than two pairs of shoes (which are neither broken nor stained), a soft comfortable bed, waking up to one alarm instead of five, homemade chai tea, the sounds of phone calls and silence, burying my toes in the sand.
Can I be honest with you? Racers talk about wanting to be home more than any other single topic. ((I'm a bit embarrassed to say that includes me))
You might be surprised at this. Perhaps you are even shaking your head in disbelief.
You are thinking: "I wish I had the opportunity to do what you're doing.
Why on earth would you want to be home?"
And you know what, I agree with you. Our year here is quite spectacular. It's a once-in-a-lifetime sort of special like catching a surprise glimpse of the Northern Lights on an otherwise glum winter day. Sometimes I just have to write it out to remember that.
Let's see…
Since I've been on the Race I've lived in 6 countries. I have worked in 4 different orphanages (2 specifically for the disabled), 2 schools, 2 retirement facilities, 2 offices, 1 coffee shop, 1 restaurant, 1 construction site, and a countless number of churches.
I have participated in a public play, worked on a farm, been a part of a flash mob, and evangelized in countries where it was illegal to do so.
On my off days I have hiked the foothills of the Himalayas, ridden elephants, explored the ancient ruins of Angkor Wat, played with baby tigers, fed hippos out of the palm of my hand, gone spelunking in Vietnamese caves, tanned on the beaches of Phuket, received hour-long asian massages, relaxed in a natural hot springs, and for my birthday next month, I will raft the Nile.
When I stop to think about it, my life is epic. Papa has given me such an exceptional gift by bringing me on this journey and I will be forever grateful for the ways it is shaping me into the woman I am and for all the incredible people I have met along the way.
So what do clean clothes really have on baby tigers? And why does every Racer you know Instagram pictures of their very ordinary-looking mocha and waffle breakfast in Cambodia when he/she should be eating Khmer food instead??
The truth is, after a while Race life feels ordinary and ordinary life feels far far away and out of reach, making it all the more desirable.
It might be hard to believe that traveling the world for a year could ever feel "ordinary" but we have grown used to the pack-up-and-go lifestyle. We have lived out of a bag for 6 months. We have taken more flights, bus rides, trains, trams, subways, taxis, tuk tuk rides, motorcycles, boats, ferries, and bicycles than you could count on your fingers and toes. We have slept in more places than most people do in their lifetime.
After a while, stability sounds like luxury.
So if you're the friend or family member of a Racer, be patient with us. You may very well want to tell us we could have stayed home to drink mochas & eat waffles, or that exploring Angkor Wat is much more epic than any of the grocery shopping you did on your day off, that you'd gladly trade out clean laundry for the privilege of playing with baby tigers. We know we are blessed. Sometimes we just need you to gently nudge us on, to remind us Who it is we are living for and just how extraordinarily grand He is. We need you to tell us that home will always be there and that there'll be other Christmases and Birthdays and weddings.
Leaving Vietnam the day after tomorrow marks not only the end of my squad's 6 months in Asia, but signifies that for the very first time, we have less time left on the Race than we have spent on it. I don't want my eyes so set on home that I miss those last 5 months.
I will embrace every moment.
I will secretly (or not so secretly) soak in every sunset and mountainscape.
I will hold every child so close I can feel their breath on my cheek.
And absolutely no matter what, I will not wish my Race away.
