At the end of last month, one of my squad-mates asked a thought-provoking question:
"How do you think this month will impact you in future months in the Race?"
I didn't miss a beat. The answer was already at the front of my mind for God had been so teaching my heart.
"I will love more, more quickly. I will not wait."
It has been nearly one month since I have left India, and more importantly, one month since I have held those little ones in my arms and covered their faces in kisses. I think of them daily: their laughter, their button noses, their smiles… their tears. My heart aches to be with them again. At least twice a day I consider ways to smuggle them out of the country and take them home with me.
I lay on my sleeping pad some nights and wonder if they are healthy. I wonder if Lilly is fully potty-trained or if Ruthie has learned any new English songs. I wonder if Wendy has let the other volunteers in on our secret handshake. I pray with all my heart that they are safe, that they are loved. There is another World Race team in Ongole this month and I secretly hope that my favorite children are their favorites as well, that Ginger is being picked up and held enough, that Prakash is still getting his daily high-fives.
I logged onto the orphanage's website today (www.schindia.com) and saw a video of the children. Before I knew it, I was washed with a wave of I-miss-yous. I watched, captivated and with tears streaming down my cheeks, as the faces of all the children that I love flashed across the screen. I must have watched it 12 times before reluctantly shutting my laptop. Bible students were pouring into the room, class was about to begin.
I never thought in a hundred years I'd leave India feeling this way. India was the country I was most looking forward to, yes, but I fully expected to fall in love with it because of the culture, the colors, the "Indian vibe." Instead, it was an assault on my senses. It was overstimulating, overwhelming and underdeveloped. I couldn't wait to leave… except that when I did, I realized I left a part of my heart behind.
Love.
It sure does cost you.
A few days ago we found out that next month our team we will be working in a children's home in Chiang Mei, Thailand. If I'm honest, I'll tell you that I'm filled with a bit of dread at the thought. An orphanage? Again? So soon? I'm not sure my heart can handle it.
And yet a conversation keeps ringing through my head:
"How do you think this month will impact you in future months in the Race?"
"I will love more, more quickly. I will not wait."
It really is true: love costs you something. And there is no option for walking away with your heart intact. Yet I know I must love even better and harder and more quickly than before. God has been reminding me of that.
SCH (the ministry I worked with last month) has started a program called 105in105. They have a dream to see all 105 children sponsored in 105 days. To provide the surgeries needed, medication, Huggies, pediasure and proper nutrition, it costs $200 per month to sponsor each child. That means that a team of 5 people can sponsor a child for $40 a month! PLEASE consider fully or partially sponsoring one of these sweethearts. You will recieve updates, pictures and on top of that, I can provide you with tidbits of insights into each child's personality. It would be the greatest joy to me if the children I have fallen in love with were given the care they need to live a healthy life. Even if you're already sponsoring a child through another organization, please consider switching. While organizations like World Vision and Compassion are wonderful, they are extremely well-known. The children at SCH are far less likely to recieve sponsors unless YOU choose to sponsor them. They are in such great need.
