“Go back.”
“Give thanks in all circumstances.”
“This is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus.”
Two weeks ago, I didn’t know the weight these words would be holding in my soul. I also didn’t know that pre-titling this blog post in a word document, a post I had yet to write but knew I would, would be such a sweet sign of God being in every detail of these days.
I was leaving a coffee shop in Penang, Malaysia with my teammates. We had just been wrecked by the most beautiful church service that morning at City Lights. We found a spot to decompress, have some quiet time, and make some calls. This particular place we had landed to sip lattes (from refurbished cannon lens mugs- so sweet) happened to be occupied by only us… us and one other man who’d walked in while we were there.
The man was tall, broad shouldered, and bald– he had the look of a fighter honestly, and that look was only confirmed by the two black eyes he was sporting. The moment he stepped inside, I noticed him, but didn’t say anything to anyone. “God, are we supposed to talk to him?” The sermon that morning at church had been all about stepping out in faith. It centered around the Great Commission; about going out into the world to make disciples in the name of Jesus. It was incredibly confirming to the season we’re in on The Race.
I didn’t feel like I was getting a clear answer from the Lord in speaking to the man, so I just ignored the gut feeling. Disclaimer: never ignore gut feelings, especially when you are certain they’re coming from the Creator of the Universe. Within moments, the man caught the eyes of my teammate Annie who was sitting across from me. “He has two black eyes,” she said aloud quietly while observing the man.
We’ve only been on the field for two months, but I know that look in Annie’s eyes, and I know when the Lord is stirring something in her soul. But alas, the moment faded for both of us. We kept doing what we were doing in our own personal quiet time, and before long, we had our backpacks on our backs, walking out of the archway of the double doors of the cafe.
We hadn’t taken a breath before I felt that familiar tug in my heart. “You’re supposed to talk to him, Angelica. Go back.” The voice of the Lord is so clear to me these days. I took a few more steps ahead as I walked side by side with Annie before saying aloud, “Is God telling you we’re supposed to go back and talk to that guy…” I asked as I slowed my step, almost hoping she would say no.
“Yep. Is He telling you the same?”
“Yep… I just don’t know what to say and how to approach that whole situation right now so I just figured…”
My sentence trailed away because we both knew I was just saying fluffy excuse words that I didn’t even mean. We knew we were supposed to go back. We both made eye contact with one another and literally slow turned to go back inside the coffee shop.
We boldly chatted through a beautifully fruitful conversation with ‘Rick.’ The Lord led the whole thing and kept us fearless. We listened to some of Rick’s story (turns out he was actually a fighter in his career) and upon his decline out of embarrassment to do so in the coffee shop, committed to be praying for the requests he asked us to pray towards. As we spoke with him, I noticed a square frame on the wall above his seat that had printed, “Give thanks in all circumstances, for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus.” (1 Thessalonians 5:18) We were shocked to see this, as we’d been sitting there for a few hours and had yet to notice it on the wall before. We pointed it out to him, shared our perspective on it, and with smiles and joy, headed on our way to lunch. Annie and I reveled in the sweetness of that afternoon and “going back.” One because it was crystal clear what the Lord wanted us both to do, and it was better because we got to do it together.
“Go back.”
“Give thanks in all circumstances.”
“This is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus.”
Never would I have imagined that going back into that coffee shop to talk to Rick out of sheer obedience to the Lord’s voice, would’ve been in large part because God knew Annie and I (and maybe you) needed those words that day in regards to the present challenges we had yet to face.
I write this post from my top bunk bed before my last sleep in Chiang Mai, Thailand. In seeking the Lord, considering the safety and well being of all of us across the globe, and the state of our world right now, Adventures in Missions has made the incredibly difficult decision to bring all of us home from the field. However, contrary to what my flesh felt yesterday morning as my teammates and I mourned this shock, confusion, disappointment, and heartbreak, I am starting to get this overwhelming peace about every bit of this. Not only do I respect the leadership within AIM to the greatest extent, but I also trust that this plan is far above people’s decisions. This scenario is completely under the will of God.
If we’re being called off the field, it’s for a reason. If I’m not supposed to finish this Race (right now), then it’s for a reason. If I’m going home, it’s for a reason. Maybe our country & loved ones need us more than the rest of the world does right now. Maybe our own idea of the field was being held onto a little too tightly. Maybe we needed to see that the field is anywhere we set our feet because the Holy Spirit lives within us, and we carry His presence to every single person we meet. Coming home means changing a physical location, but it doesn’t change our heart posture of ‘life is ministry, & ministry is life,’ one single bit. We were warriors for the gospel in Indonesia, Malaysia, and Thailand, and we will be warriors coming back to America.
“Go back.”
“Give thanks in all circumstances.”
“This is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus.”
God is in these days with us. He’s right here with us. He’s with the world. This wasn’t God’s plan B or C– it’s His plan A. All of it. I don’t have to understand it to trust Him. “Response is what matters. All events serve His will… all is under my Father’s control. My portion. My cup. My lot is secure. My heart can be at peace. My Father is in charge.” (words from Be Still My Soul by Elisabeth Elliott)
“We knew we were supposed to go back.
The Lord led the whole thing and kept us fearless.
It was crystal clear what the Lord wanted us both to do, and it was better because we got to do it together.”
God set that day up out of reckless love and care for the hearts of His children. It was a scenario of wisdom He was imparting to us to carry forward and pull out of our pocket at a time like this. My original intent for this blog was to share a story about listening to the voice of God, and remembering to empower others to do the same. The intent was about speaking out when you hear the voice of God, and remembering that someone right next to you could be hearing Him too. And while those were my intentions, and are still profound truths, God had much bigger plans for this blog; He had a much bigger message than I could originally see. He always does. And He has a bigger one far greater than our small minds can comprehend right now.
So we choose to trust.
We choose to pray.
We choose to keep the faith.
We choose to fight the good fight.
We choose finish this Race.
I am coming home, just as on fire as I was on the day we left the U.S.– if not more. Imagine: a wave of all these warriors for the gospel all coming home at the same time. Imagine the ripple effect. Imagine what faith we can share with our country; with our friends and family. Imagine the power of God in us that we are bringing home.
Please join us in praying during these days. Pray for our leaders: both within AIM and all the way up to President Trump and leaders across the world. Pray for our health and safety as we navigate these days back home. Please pray for continued peace of mind in mine and my squads hearts, and pray for the people across this globe that don’t have that same peace or fearlessness right now. “Faith is the certainty of things hoped for, and the assurance of things unseen.” (Hebrews 11:1)
We are coming home, but we are filled with faith and the power of the Holy Spirit. No virus or fear can stop that.
As I’ve said before, and as I’ll continue to say, this is only the beginning.
#leavehope #wakeupthewonder
