“And pray in the Spirit on all occasions with all kinds of prayers and requests. With this in mind, be alert and always keep on praying for all the Lord’s people. Pray also for me, that whenever I speak, words may be given to me so that I will fearlessly make known the mystery of the gospel, for which I am an ambassador in chains. Pray that I may declare it fearlessly, as I should.” (Ephesians 6: 18-20)
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With The World Race training camp just days away (insert mild panic attack of excitement here), I have been getting myself spiritually, mentally, and physically ready for everything that is to come in those 10 days. One of our fitness requirements is to be able to hike 2 miles in 38 minutes. You’ve probably read my latest post about preparing for this by running on the treadmill. But putting a 30-40lb backpack on your back + not being in an air-conditioned gym certainly changes the circumstances! Yagirl has been doing this 2 mile trek through the beautiful hoods of Buckhead though, and growing in faith from literally every step I take.
On day 1, I may or may not have fallen in a ditch while posting on Instagram (true story), but we don’t have to talk about day 1. By day whatever-this-is, I’ve got my route, my routine, and I’m speed walking up and down those hills like it’s my full time job!
But let’s get to the grit of this post: during these two mile treks, I get to have anywhere from 30-40 minutes to listen to worship music, take in the nature around me, breathe, and talk to God. The wildest part? God talks back.
“You can’t testify against sin you’re still walking in.”
Whew. These words hit me like punch to my stomach as I let the Lord slowly download them into my mind, and transfer them into my heart. The reality of my life is thatjust like falling into that ditch on day 1 of training for this hike, I still stumble in my walk with Jesus. Old patterns occasionally sneak back in, and the enemy still fights to win the war between my flesh and my faith. But the deeper I go into my intimacy with God, and the closer I get to becoming a full time missionary for a year, I’ve found out a few things I want to share with anyone who may be reading this, and feeling like these words are speaking to them.
So often I hear others, and often ask myself, what exactly defines sin? Sin looks different for everyone… right? Sure. Different people face different sin struggles; mine may be idolatry and yours may be anger—but someone said it so simply to me one time, that “sin is sin is sin.” Different people may struggle in different areas of sin, but it’s the same sin; just in different strengths within different souls. We read this verse from Romans 14 at house church last week, and it clarified every question one could possibly have. Read it again: “Everything that does not come from faith is sin.”
Ask yourself, is this way I’m living right now out of faith? Is this text I’m sending out of faith? Are these words I’m saying out of faith? Is this action out of faith? If it’s not, then it’s sin.
‘Geeze, Angelica. That sounds so harsh, fam.’ But it’s the word of God, fam. I need to hear it and read it every single day, just as much as you may.
“For though we live in the world, we do not wage war as the world does. The weapons we fight with are not the weapons of the world. On the contrary, they have divine power to demolish strongholds. We demolish arguments and every pretension that sets itself up against the knowledge of God, and we take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ.” (2 Corinthians 10: 3-5)
We have to remember that it is a daily battle that we walk into as believers. But the weapons we fight with aren’t the weapons of the world. Rather they are weapons of prayer, praise, worship, thanksgiving, love, sacrifice, and surrender. Using those weapons, we can take our thoughts (and actions) captive to be obedient of the One who created us in the first place. You want to fight your sins? Pick up these weapons. Put on the Armor of God (Ephesians 6: 10-17). And remember the victory of any battle you walk into was already won by Jesus on Calvary.
My gosh do I need to look at that one again. Even now, you’re reading the words of a world class perfectionist. I’m about as people pleasing, control gripping, and type-A as they come. In the last year (and shoot, last several hours even) I’ve been coming to terms with the fact that I’ve been aiming for a level of perfection in life that could only be attained by the one that GIVES me life. Jesus was the example of perfection for me to aim to be just like, but not to be. I am not Jesus. I am Angelica. Jesus gives life. I give Jesus my life to live by example so others can come to know our Father’s love through Him too. So yes, I am going to stumble. And every time I do, I need to take a mental note, or a physical note in a blog post just like this one. Why did I stumble? Where did I go wrong in making room for this stumble to happen? Have I talked this out with God? How do I prevent this from happening again?
But here’s the catch: grace is never ending, and God will ALWAYS forgive us, but what loyalty are we giving to our Father that is so loving and loyal to us if we take advantage of that grace and keep walking in our sins? I used to ask myself all the time, “How do these actions make me look to other people?” But my question has changed more recently to have more weight attached, “How do these actions make my GOD look to other people? A God I profess to believe in, live for, and worship every day?” Talk about conviction.
As believers, we have a necessity to become more obedient to our Father. There are too many hypocritical believers in this world; professing to believe and be changed by a God that has radically transformed their lives, yet they aren’t living fully transformed—I don’t always live as if I’ve been fully transformed. They aren’t walking in full obedience—I don’t always walk in full obedience. The cost of a holy life is too much for them—sometimes the cost of a holy life feels like it’s too much for me. But if we’re getting literal here, Jesus probably thought that the cost of a brutal death on a cross for the sins of the entire world was too much, but He loved us and died for us anyways. We have to love Him and die to ourselves daily anyways; regardless of the cost.
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I always want to remind anyone reading these posts, that I write to be able to re-read these words myself just as much as I want to share this wisdom with the rest of the world. I need my own words to sink in to my own soul just as much as you may need them. This life of faith is beyond challenging. It’s beyond costly. But it’s in honor of things and eternities that beyond us, and we have to honor the shoes we’ve been gracefully gifted to walk in as believers.
“You show that you are a letter from Christ, the result of our ministry, written not with ink but with the Spirit of the living God, not on tablets of stone but on tablets of human hearts” 2 Corinthians 3: 3
Christianity is written on our human hearts. It’s written on my life, and on your life. It’s written on the words we say, the actions we make, and the steps we take. Let’s let this life and these callings have the weight that they deserve. Let’s be examples of a Savior that has transformed us from the inside out. Let’s let His love change us, and call usdeeper into places we’ve maybe never wanted to recognize, acknowledge, or open the doors for Jesus to come in and re-write our stories.
The World Race stresses what it means to “live a life on mission.” Regardless of the next year that is just ahead of me, and being a full time missionary, I want to embody life on mission day in and day out in my ‘normal’ life. I want to look more and more like Jesus in every single thing I do. I want to pray and praise more, and stress and worry less. I want to keep laughing and keep expressing excessive joy and keep finding my fullness in my Father. I don’t want to be perfect. I want to glorify a perfect Father by living a holy life in a full-time posture of surrender. It’s hard, but it’s not impossible.
Just like Paul, we are ambassadors in chains. But the more we hand over our lives to the ultimate Chain-Breaker, the more we can lead others closer to Jesus to have their chains broken too. Our callings are bigger than us, but our God fully equips those He calls. I am equipped. You are equipped. And we have to be lights to remind others that they are too. So here’s to stumbling into occasional ditches, but getting back up. Because not only are we equipped to get back up, but we have a God that wants to pick us up, dust off our pains for us, renew our faith, and send us back out to keep fighting… and to keep lighting the places of our world that need brightness. Be bright. Be bold. Believe in the Light within you; I promise you, whether you know it or not, it’s there.
