HEY FAM HEYYYY! I’m back from training camp and wouldn’t ya know it: ya girl made it out of 10 days in the woods ALIVE and feeling better & brighter than ever! If you’re reading this, if you’ve been praying, donating, or encouraging me along the way, I want to first say thank you. When I say I felt every bit of support and love in those 10 days of camp, and every bit of a solid foundation of “this is exactly where I’m supposed to be,” I mean it. God moved mountains in my life and those around me. I could honestly share for hours and hours and pages and pages of all that took place in such a short time. Disclaimer: I won’t do that today 🙂 But I’m on the flip side of so much awe and wonder that it’s almost hard to compress all of my current feelings together into a single post. But here’s my best shot!
2 Corinthians 6: “As God’s co-workers we urge you not to receive God’s grace in vain. 2 For he says, “In the time of my favor I heard you, and in the day of salvation I helped you.” I tell you, now is the time of God’s favor, now is the day of salvation.
3 We put no stumbling block in anyone’s path, so that our ministry will not be discredited. 4 Rather, as servants of God we commend ourselves in every way: in great endurance; in troubles, hardships and distresses; 5 in beatings, imprisonments and riots; in hard work, sleepless nights and hunger; 6 in purity, understanding, patience and kindness; in the Holy Spirit and in sincere love; 7 in truthful speech and in the power of God; with weapons of righteousness in the right hand and in the left; 8 through glory and dishonor, bad report and good report; genuine, yet regarded as impostors; 9 known, yet regarded as unknown; dying, and yet we live on; beaten, and yet not killed; 10 sorrowful, yet always rejoicing; poor, yet making many rich; having nothing, and yet possessing everything.
This verse was one I was sharing with my squad and teammates consistently at the start of camp. It was a verse I had marked up and written “World Race!“ next to it weeks before I ever set foot at training camp. But low and behold, it was also the same verse our squad mentor had been praying over us as a group before we even met her! (Gods amazing like that, and so is Amy Heitzman) This verse totally embodies many through lines of challenge at training camp, and much more of what we will he facing in our 11 months next year.
As thrilled and excited as I was, (if I’m being completely transparent here) I went into The World Race training camp at Adventures in Missions with many doubts in my mind. Due to a few influentially important people in my life consistently speaking uncertainties, fears, and “be carefuls” over my life, my vision was a bit clouded. And I’m honestly thankful for that in many ways. I was skeptical of what I would hear, what I would be taught, what I would have to participate in, and what commitments I would have to make. I was worried that my values and morals may be compromised. I was worried it was not going to coincide with the vision of the journey I signed up for. I was worried I may have been a little in over my head. But for every doubt and worry, God beautifully countered the enemy with abounding joy, excitement, expectancy of greatness, and full faith that far outweighed the negative thoughts. At the end of it all, training camp was every single thing I didn’t expect it to be, and everything better than I couldn’t have imagined.
I went in expecting everything to be uncomfortable. And in many ways it was. I’ve never used porta potties for 10 days straight. I’ve never slept outside in a tent in both rain and cold weather. I’ve surely never eaten 3 meals a day family style from a large central plate; sometimes with silverware and individual dishes, and sometimes with nothing but your hands because that’s what the culture called for that day. Ive never seen spiritual warfare manifest so physically— like hearing blood curdling screams from the woods in the middle of the night. No lie. I’ve never had a hot shower taken away from me and forced to use a measuring cup and a bucket filled with cold water from the hose to bathe myself. This only took place twice in 10 days by the way, so I’ve surely never gone that long of a time being that unclean! I’ve never been around so many people, so consistently, with so little alone time. There were a whole lot of “firsts” in these days for sure. So yes, things were uncomfortable. But they were far more amazing and beautiful than anything else— so much so that the “discomfort“ was almost nil in comparison to the abundant goodness of those days.
All this being said, I’ve maybe never felt more free, more myself, or more seen and loved by God and the community surrounding me in my entire life.
Training camp pushed me to limits I didn’t know I could reach. As a city girl that previously has always been a big fan of having a nice car, a nice home, going out to the hottest night life spots, being seen in the hottest scenes, making big money, and the ever known ‘work hard, play harder’ mentality, I couldn’t have more sincere desires for quite the opposite after training camp.
I found a family of believers that I get to travel the world with that accept me just as I am. I’ve never gone that many days of not thinking twice about my appearance, what clothes I was wearing, or how perfect the makeup on my face looked. I didn’t have to, because I just knew I was loved regardless. I spent time hearing from the Lord and worshipping Him fiercely with strangers that became family almost instantly. I studied and was taught about scripture, cultures, and ways of deciphering how to share the gospel with people across the world. I learned more about the Bible and how to grasp and interpret it in a wide range of understandings; through many different cultural lenses. I laughed harder than ever, and also shed some painful tears over seeing some of my squad mates go home and defer to a different launch time. I was encouraged and inspired by my teammates and the best leaders on the planet with prophetic words that only God would’ve known I needed to hear and receive. I prayed more consistently and more physically in front of/for others than ever before. “Let’s pray about that right now,” became the first option, go-to norm, rather than the last-resort-thing-you-do-in-desperation. Training camp stretched me to my limits mentally, spiritually, physically and emotionally, and to be completely honest, I would do it all over again in a heartbeat.
If you know me well, you may not even believe this, but I actually enjoyed the woodsy/ get-messy-and-get-uncomfortable-life more than I enjoy my controlled, fine tuned, scheduled life I live everyday. There was such a sound, strong freedom in knowing I was loved and seen, not only by God, but by those around me, without a second thought of the clothes I was wearing, what I had on my resume, what amount of money was in my bank account, what status I held in life, or what clothes and accessories I had complimenting my body that day. I didn’t have to anything to gain approval, I just had to be me.
God calls us to come as we are; to just be ourselves. The gospel shows us we are worthy of goodness and a full life and eternal salvation just as we are. We don’t have to clean up, or put on a superficial image to the way we want the world to perceive us. We just have to show up with a willing “Yes, Lord,” and He quite literally takes care of the rest.
Training camp taught me more than I can even put into words. It was overwhelmingly wonderful in all the hardest and simultaneously best ways possible. With my January launch just a couple of months away, I couldn’t be more ready or excited to take off on this journey. I’ve got a whole lot of overflowing abundance of love that I’m getting from an endless supply source, and it’s time to take it to the ends of the earth!
So to my C-Squad Family, Leaders, Coaches, & my Fierce Five team: words fail to express how grateful I am that God wrote our stories to intersect at this time, for this divine kingdom assignment. Ya‘ll are truly the only ones who understand what I mean when I say this is something special. It blows my mind every time I think about each of y’all– that God is this good and this faithful to us. SHEESH I LOVE YALL.
And to everyone praying, supporting, donating, and sending the constantly encouraging messages: thank you’s will never do justice to the gratitude living in my heart these days. I am literally sprinting towards this journey along a road that has been paved with YOUR donations and YOUR love— literally making a way for me to do what I’m doing. I literally couldn’t be doing this without each of you.
There is so much more I want to say and share, but for now, I’ll just say how much I love y’all, how ready I am for this, and how dang good and kind our Father is to us. As I said at the end of my video, this is only the beginning! And what a future full of wonder and miracles that awaits on the horizon…
