In trying to write a blog post to encompass everything I’ve felt and learned in Indonesia this month, I’ve truly had such a time! The words and feelings are endless! I’m understanding very quickly that this journey I’m on is going to entail so much. Relationships, moments, experiences, bonds, memories, prayers, miracles, meals, surrender, adventure, nature, and everything in between. I’m also learning that as much as I want to share every second of it all with the rest of the world, to pick each of you up, shrink you down into tiny people I could fit into my pocket, and bring with me everywhere I go, that that would be impossible to do. Thus, I’ve got to share what I feel the Lord telling me to share; no more and no less than His will. I’m still in the process of learning what that looks like too.
The way I journal is a little different than most people. Instead of writing in a notebook (which I do occasionally) I love to type on my laptop. I’ve secretly always dreamed of being a big office executive that wears a high bun, a bright lip color, and fierce pantsuits. Instead, I’ve settled for that same look in the fine dining industry to make a paycheck, leave the paycheck behind, keep the high bun & bright lip, leave the pantsuits, join a team called the “Fierce Five,” grab the laptop, and type about everything along the journey of saying ‘yes’ to traveling the world following Jesus. So far, this is way better than the office job I’ve dreamed about. All that being said, I type everything out when I want to “journal,” and it fills my soul in the sweetest way. This month alone, between blog posts and journaling, I typed over 40 pages on Word. Over 20,000 words, hundreds of photos, and tens of posts on social media to encompass all that this first month was made up of, and I still feel like I haven’t scratched the surface on all that we’ve witnessed and experienced.
I went through all of these pages during debrief. I read back over them, reminisced over the most precious first month in Bali, and highlighted what stood out. I gathered the words I received from the Lord, I gathered the prayers I saw transpire, and I concluded the lessons that many experiences taught me. These are what I want to share with you to sum up month 1 in Indonesia.
Lessons from the Lord
I’ve learned if there’s a microphone, it must always be in front of the voice of the Holy Spirit– we were never designed to have microphones in our hands. His voice should always be amplified over everything else.
I’ve learned that it is a sheer privilege to speak the same language as those around you; that if this is my common ground with someone, especially in America, that it’s imperative to take advantage of the ease to be able to share the gospel and the name of Jesus with others.
I’ve learned that God is completely sovereign over my health. I don’t need all the medications in the world nor excessive worries around my heart to know and trust Him with that.
I’ve learned that even though the world will label all of us as broken things, and even though we are, that I don’t have to live and exist out of a place of brokenness or being ruled by my emotions. As okay as it is to not be okay, that it’s also pretty incredible to be strong and courageous in the midst of adverse circumstances. “The old has gone, the new has come.” (2 Corinthians 5:17) I don’t have to operate out of the ways I used to. God welcomes me to grow and become new in and through Christ.
I’ve learned that the more I pray, and ask others to pray for excessive joy, that it happens. “Count it ALL joy, the trials and tribulations you face of many kinds,” (James 1:4) Joy in the sickness, joy in the heat, joy in the lack of a bed, joy in it all. It’s there in the worst of times because the Word says it’s there… sometimes we have to look a little harder for it.
I’ve learned that the verse “peace that surpasses understanding” is physically and tangibly real, because I experienced it ten thousand times over this month.
I’ve learned to “pray in the Spirit at all times, and on all occasions.” (Ephesians 6:18) Someone’s sad? Pray about it. Someone’s sick? Pray about it. Someone needs healing? Pray about it. You’re having a sensitive conversation? Pray before and after it with that person. I’ve learned that everything can be different when you invite God into something before it even takes place. There is power in our prayers; massive power.
I’ve learned that I’m in love with the nations of this world thus far. Like really in love. With the nations and the people, and the God that wants them to know Him.
I’ve learned (and am still deeply walking through this) that I don’t have to share my opinion or defend myself, even if someone doesn’t understand my point of view completely. Jesus is my Defender. Therefore defense is not my role. This ones’ hard for me. Really hard. But it’s the beginning of beautiful, new awareness.
I’ve learned to give up control; any and all of it that I’m able to give up, and give to God. I’ve been doing a lot of that. This is another one that’s really hard for me. “Be still and know that I am God.” (Psalm 46:10) If I truly believe this, then I never have to worry about control. He’s God. I’m not. I can make choices in accordance with His will, but His plan is sovereign over my life.
I’ve learned to speak aloud “I trust you with my life, Lord,” or “I trust this person’s life in Your hands, Lord.” Speaking these phrases aloud has become a more recurring thing. There’s more growth and healing in these words than I ever knew.
I’ve learned that the people (strangers rather) that you’d never expect to love you will sometimes love you more than the people you would initially anticipate that love from. I’ve learned when this happens, it’s often God saying “I’m in this. This is me. This is how I want to show you love.” The confusing, messy, uncertain things are often not real love.
I’ve learned that worship is the most powerful weapon to fight battles with. Hands down the most powerful. “Worship is a weapon” isn’t a cute phrase; it’s a profound and powerful truth.
I’ve learned that I’m maybe more alive and free in unknown countries across the world, even though America is the “land of the free and home of the brave.” I’ve surely seen a heck of a lot of freedom in love and courage in boldness along this journey so far.
I’ve learned that “home” isn’t always where the heart is. Home is wherever in the world Jesus shows you it is. I’ve learned to say ‘yes’ to new homes and to make my bed in those places. Literally. “Not that I was ever in need, for I have learned how to be content with whatever I have.” (Philippians 4:11)
I’ve learned that joy exists from heart to heart, and can be shared anywhere with anyone. Regardless of language barriers, social class, religious beliefs, social status, etc. Everyone speaks the language of ‘love.’ I think Jesus’ may have preferred that language over any other.
I’ve learned that strangers across the world smile back at me more often than Americans do. I’ve learned I like to smile more often at strangers because of this.
I’ve learned that God will meet me anywhere. He will show up while I’m in a grab ride, at a McDonalds, on a beach, beside a laundromat, inside of a holy place of another faith, at a hostel by the pool, or at a restaurant, and He’ll move me to act. I’m learning to act every time.
I’ve learned that when I don’t have the words to say, that if I ask Him, the Holy Spirit will show up and quickly speak through me. “Do not worry about what to say or how to say it. At that time you will be given what to say, for it will not be you speaking, but the Spirit of your Father speaking through you.” (Matthew 10:19-20)
I’ve also learned to hear God’s voice clearer when He’s personally spoken to me this month:
“Sit still, and watch me.”
“Even when they silence you, sing anyways.”
“I want you to wait for me. I’m in the waiting with you.”
“Just like the seedling that grows into these beautiful flowers, I’m still growing you.”
“Everything from your past didn’t make me ashamed of you, it broke my heart for you.”
“I never asked you to be perfect. You’ve always been more than enough to me.”
“I’m excessively, exceedingly proud of you.”
“Let it go, baby girl.”
“You feel that abundant love like you’ve never felt before? I love you more than that.”
And I’ve learned that the Lord will bring scripture to life in brand new ways if I seek out time with Him and His Word. So much so, that you I even re-phrase them into more personal affirmations. This has been my heart posture all month. If you asked for my mood in a verse, it’d be this one:
“I see that the Lord is always with me. I will not be shaken for He is right beside me. No wonder my heart is glad and my tongue shouts His praises. My body rests in hope. For you will not leave my soul among the dead or allow your Holy One to rot in the grave. You have shown me the way of life, and you will fill me with the joy of your presence.” (Acts 2:25-28)
“Jesus is sitting right beside me; holding me in his arms and holding my hand. I’m not shaken by adversity or the circumstances of my environment, for the presence of the Lord dwells within it all. Of course my heart is filled with joy and I am always singing of all He’s done and of His sovereignty! My presence rests in the hope of Jesus. If I find myself facing death or darkness, I can be certain my Father won’t leave me in that place; just as He didn’t leave His son in the grave. My life will be lived to look more like Jesus everyday, and the joy and peace of God will abound behind, beside, and in front of me always, and in all ways.” (Angelica’s version)
I imagine the lessons, sweet words from the Lord, prayers, and scriptures coming to life will only begin to increase as time goes on. If this is the end of month 1, then I am expectant beyond belief for this month to come.
We are 2 days into being at our new host home in Sungai Petani, Malaysia, and God only knows what lies in front of the next part of this journey.
This is only the beginning.
#leavehope #wakeupthewonder
