I say church family because church goes beyond the four walls of Calvary Pennsauken in New Jersey, but here is a word for my church.
I know in recent times we have struggled, lost, grieved, and questioned. Yes questioned, and it might even sound like, “Lord what are you doing?”
We lost 2 brothers strong men, with big hearts, and a passion deeply rooted for the lord. It hurts and it will for a while and that’s ok. I will never forget their presence in our church, in my life, and their impact on the world around them. Whether being on the ground loving and leading souls to the lord in India, or our little back yard showing lost boys how to be saved men, they both gave everything for the lord that they loved.
I can’t help but think that the enemy is waging a war with us. We are coming now to a tipping point where we now get to decide.
We get to decide how dedicated we are going to be to the lord we say we love.
We get to decide how passionately we will pray for each other and our world.
We get to decide how we lift each other up in these really hard times.
We get to decide…
With tears in my eyes I write this prayer to my church:
Oh lord,
Please help us, help our hearts mourn with you, remind us that you know grief and sorrow well.
Help our minds remember the memory of our beautiful brothers, what a joy it is that they are with you, basking in the majesty of your presence.
For those of us still here, waiting for you, let us be acquainted with your throne room. Let us be excited to battle in prayer for those around us, those that sit next to us in church and our family in all the parts of the world. Awaken us oh lord and let us not be comfortable, let us not indulge in the comforts of this world but exalt in the victory of you and your throne. I know we are on the winning side of this battle but Lord, right now when we feel down, we feel like we might loose, let us look back on the stones that we have stacked in remembrance of your faithfulness to us time and time again. Let us look back on these moments to remember the consistency of your character and let us look ahead with excitement for your coming faithfulness to us oh God. Oh lord help us to remember the holy surrender you call us to daily, and even when its hard oh God help us surrender our understanding of situations to you, only you know the plans oh sovereign God. Help us to remember that you aren’t scared of our questions, of our doubts, and of our tears. You are close to those who are weary, and I know you will lift us up with all grace and love. We are not always certain of your purpose Lord but through this help us to run the rest of this race with you as our guide, our sweet and gentle father, never taking a step without you even when we may not understand.
To Julie and Candy,
My heart aches for you.. I pray that you would feel the lord so close in these times. I pray that the lord would comfort you and hold you and I pray that every morning when you rise you would hear the voice of the lord just like you heard the voices of Mark and Mike.
Jenesa and Sophie and Taylor,
I pray now more than ever you would be reminded that you had a really great father and you still have a really great father. I pray you would know the lord fatherly presence and feel it like you never have before. Look back and know those men were proud of you and look ahead knowing you still carry some of the best parts of who they were.
Lord just hug us all we need you, we need the wrinkles of your eyes when you smile at us, we need the hands of a carpenter to hold us, we need the voice of the good Shepard to speak life into the spaces of death in our lives.
I love you lord, and I love all you guys too
Amen
