Sometimes with God we think that we get to this point where we have done enough, experienced enough, and given enough. One of the biggest lies of the enemy is that God is done with us right where we are at, whether that be a super amazing place where life is great or at such a deep place we have no idea how to get out. That lie in one word is called complacency
Right now I’m in Guatemala at midpoint debrief. HOW CRAZY! Coming to Guatemala I definitely believed the lie that God was done with me. That there wouldn’t be anything like the growth I experienced in Romania, that my 9 month adventure and really my life adventure peaked in Romania.
How wrong I was. I came to midpoint debrief completely exhausted and honestly not sure what I had left to give to this world race.
Lately God has told me that he wants to take me to the end of myself, because at the end of myself is where I find the beginning of him. What a word! Getting to the end of myself means that I have to surrender ALL of myself not just the places I let him into that day. God has told me that he doesn’t want anything I have to offer and has taken me to a place where I don’t have anything to give. God has told me that he wants me to fail and fail so hard because all my life I have strived to be in a place of success fed by unrealistic expectations. Needless to say, I have no idea how to live in a place where I have nothing to give, or a place where I’m not constantly working for success.
To get to the end of yourself I have come to realize you have to drop the things that are not of God, that are at the root of your heart. Today during worship God wanted to meet me exactly where I was at. I was laying on the floor offering myself as a sacrifice to him to come and do whatever he wanted to do with me because I had no idea what was in my heart, but knew there was nothing else I could do or try or give to go deeper with him.
God came so gently, sat beside me and asked me
“Are you ready?”
“Yes God I’m ready.”
He put his hand on my arm and began to dig into my heart and he started from the bottom of my heart. He pulled out 3 pieces of gook. The first piece of gook was named bitterness. I had bitterness from past hurts, past circumstances that I thought weren’t fair, and past grudges and unforgivness. He showed it to me and asked:
“Can i take this?” And I said yes. *God will never force us into transformation with him and his spirit.
The second piece of gook was fear. It was a fear I have had for a long time of not being in Gods will, a fear that I can’t be fully transformed into Gods complete and wholistic creation. He asked,
“Can I take this?” and I said yes.
The third piece of gook he pulled out of me was pride. Pride of who I am, big bad tough Angelica. The Angelica that doesn’t take anyone’s crap and always looks like she has her stuff together. He asked,
“Can I take this?” And I said yes.
But God was not done with me yet. WHEN GOD TAKES SOMETHING FROM YOU THAT IS NOT OF HIM, SOMETHING THAT PRODUCES A ROOT OF DEATH IN YOU, HE WILL REPLACE IT WITH SOMETHING FROM HIM, SOMETHING THAT PRODUCES LIFE. (Read that again!)
God replaced the bitterness I had and called me a woman of reconciliation. God replaced the fear I had and called me a woman of unwavering faith.
God replaced the pride I had and called me a woman of humility.
I have come to realize that God’s greatest longing is intimacy with us. In John 10 it talks about how God is our Shepard and we are his sheep. It specifically uses the word known. To be known by God and for us to know him requires spending time, recognizing his voice, and yeah, allowing him into the fullness of your heart even when you have no idea what is there.
Before today, I had no idea what was even in my heart I felt so so empty, but I want to know God so much that I’m ready to let him in with open hands and he came with such gentleness to show me who I am, and to give me the choice to be what he calls me. When I chose in he didn’t leave me empty but way more full than I expected.
I say all of this to say that complacency in our relationship with God, or really just in life, is a place where yes we can stay there but we miss out on the fullness of an abundant life in Christ. God is never done with us. He constantly wants to go deeper and deeper. And its soo easy to get exhausted or look back at life and say but God I have already given you all of this or God we have already done so much…. NO. God wants to take you into the Holy of Holies with him. He wants you to dance at the foot of his throne, lay at his feet, bask in his presence.
Don’t let the worlds lousy desires, comfortability with material things, and masking of emotions corrupt and rob you of hunger, transformation in the uncomfortable, and true identity with the father. But most of all don’t let complacency be your normal day to day. God robbed heaven for you, I promise there is more.
