Even thousands of miles in Romania the lord is impressing on my heart the family I have back home. No I haven’t gotten home sickness yet and I’m not wishing to go back but I am experiencing a little bit of regret.
For a long time in my family I wore this mask and on the outside was this strong face that wanted to be silly and smiley for everyone but on the inside my heart was crying. I always felt like I had to be the strong one in the circumstances that my family was experiencing. And personally, I just had to be strong in my own circumstances too. So of course, no crying in front of people because that is weakness. Don’t let people in all the way because letting them in would mean being vulnerable. Vulnerability = weakness.
THOSE ARE SUCH LIES. Today we were posed the question; what is one of the things you regret not doing before you left home? My answer was so simple.
I regret not being 110% vulnerable with my family. Crying with them through my problems instead of being silent in my struggles, asking them for help when I needed it, and taking every opportunity to tell them I love them. But most importantly being timid in sharing the knowledge I have about the word of God and what it means to me.
To my family, I’m sorry it took me being in Romania to see how blessed I am to have been born into such banger family. And I love you guys sooo much. My promise to you is that I will no longer shy away from giving you my heart, my thoughts, my love, and my knowledge and wisdom of God.
And to everyone else, be vulnerable, say what you need to say, love hard, be present where your feet are, and don’t feel like you need to carry the weight of your circumstances or other peoples circumstances on your shoulders. Jesus did it a long time ago and he did it for you, that way you can persevere through the circumstance leaning on him the whole time.
