After some recent and beautiful changes in my life, it’s
time for me to dust off this ol’ blog and begin writing again. So much has
happened in the past year since I last posted… most of which was too weighty
to process here. None the less, let me share the most recent news, then I will
back track a bit and share how it all came to be…
This all kinda came out of left field for us (is that a
baseball expression?? Cuz Benny would be proud of me for incorporating sports
into this love story 😉 hehe) and yet this has all been perfectly
timed by the One who created us.
So, let me set the stage and fill you in;
(be sure to check Benny’s blog here, he is also telling the
story from his side!)
Since coming home from The World Race back in 2008, I have
been steadily going back out to the nations leading Real Life teams for AIM.
This season has greatly impacted and shaped my desire to know Jesus more
intimately, and to lead others straight into His heart. I have discovered some
deep strengths within and I’ve gotten a glorious taste of what it looks to walk
by His Spirit daily. It’s been a season of fine tuning my ears to his tender
voice.
Within this longer season of a few years, I have gone
through many mini seasons, highs and lows, dark nights and beautiful sunrises. In particular this past year, the dark nights
and beautiful sunrises have been magnified in their beauty.
I came home from the Real Life Expedition trip in Aug. 2010
with a peek into the Lover’s side of God’s heart. I was enamored by Him. I knew
that He was calling me to a place of being completely known by Him, I mean
completely, naked and unashamed. The draw to that place felt so good, I had
desired this for so long and yet I had no idea what it would take to get me to
that place, but I chose to follow.
I went straight to Brazil with a team after the expedition trip.
I was excited to bring my anticipated joy of the “Lover’s” season to this team.
And then I did a face plant straight into disappointment when I was barraged by
an army of lies, memories of shame from the past, and the fear that tried to
hold it all under the surface. These battles were magnified by circumstances
among our team and ministry site. At the end of the 3 month trip I found myself
bruised up and battle weary.
surrender because I just couldn’t take anymore battles at this point. I longed
for His intimacy, His closeness. I began to lose hope that He would fulfill my
longing to know Him as my Lover. This in turn began to steal my hope of finding
a husband who would be willing to know and love me completely. This is when
Papa called me ‘Grace’. I breathed deeply with relief, but only long enough to
catch my breath before the real battle began.
