I have never viewed myself as being chained to anything. I've known peple to feel chained to depression, the past, or even another person. I have always felt quite free. In college my roommate gave me the nickname free-spirited, and it stuck because that is how I saw myself and how others portrayed me.
Whenever I think of free-spiritedness I think of Pocahontas' song "Just Around the Riverbend." This was my favorite Disney movie growing up and I think unconsciously I have tried to be like her–free and bold.
According to urban dictionary free-spirited means "someone who isn't weighed down by the troubles of everyday life, is always themselves regardless of the situation and lives life to the full and is not restricted by other people's opinions." I feel this description defines me. Nothing really gets me down; I am not all that emotional and pretty carefree.
One night while talking with a friend at a Christmas party, I became abruptly aware that for the past few years I have been chained to the enemy's deception without even knowing it. I've realized that Satan loves to see deceive me, causing me to doubt my God-given abilities, thus distracting me from attaining my full potential in the Lord's plan for me.
It's so amazing to see God show up in the smallest and most mundane occurences. While talking with this friend I shared with her the attributes I see in her that encourage those around her. She then began to pour encouragement over me, stating three characteristics she saw in me that have shaken my world since. She claimed she sees me as "selfless, humble, and compassionate." These may seem like simple words, but when I heard them it was like God was telling me He saw me that way. For years and years I have unceasingly sought out the Lord's mercy, that he would be gracious enough to take away and change my prideful, non compassionate, selfish nature. For so long I have just assumed that pride, selfishness, and non compassion were a part of who I am and that I would always struggle with them. In believing Satan's lies for so long, it caused me to doubt the Lord's power, that He could really take away what I hated in my sinful nature.
When my friend spoke these words to me tears came to my eyes because I was slightly shocked that she had seen me in the exact opposite light that I view myself. That night I was wrapped in God's blanket of love knowing that He understands and cares about the deepest hurts of my heart. I became aware of God's perception of me while I finally became aware of the shakes of deception cutting deeper into my wrists.
The king of lies has deceived me for too long! He comes only to steal and kill and destroy. But the Lord came that we may have life and have it abundantly. [John 10:10] The enemy loves nothing more than for us to walk farther and farther from the plans that the Lord has created us for.
I am plagued with my negative self-perception no longer, because Christ came to free me from it! I am a daughter of the King; righteous, worthy, loved, beautiful, confident, important, strong, bold, humble, selfless, and compassionate. This is how God sees me and how I will chose to see myself, not through my doing but through HIS! No longer will I be chained to my sinful nature and the lies that Satan throws at me. I will only seek TRUTH, His truth!
Every day I will strive to become more and more of the free-spirited woman God has created me to be!
