My team and I love to talk about the food we miss from home. Yes, I know… we’ve only been away for 3 weeks and already we miss cheeseburgers, Mexican food, and dessert. The common consensus with everyone is pecan pie. It’s my dad’s favorite! The only pie I’ve had recently is humble pie.
I have been asking the Lord to humble me, to bring me so low that all I can do is look to Him and be thankful that He is all I need. Before leaving for Africa I wrote in my prayer journal “I desire to be small, making my team great. Humble me over and over again. Break me so that all I can do is depend on you. Lord, break my pride.”
I’ve noticed that God usually answers prayer in ways that we wouldn’t expect. Last week is definitely testimony to this. Jochem, Liz and I took our first walk to the market to grocery shop. On the dirt path alongside the street we went under some trees and I was engulfed by a swarm of bees! I began to swat my hands around my head and run in circles as I heard bees buzzing above me. This lasted for about 2 LONG minutes, as my team mates stood watching, laughing loudly… When I began to hear their laughter I said, between burst of screaming, “guys it’s not funny, I’m crying, NOT laughing!” Once they knew I was actually in pain and legitimately freaking out, they asked if I was okay and helped to swat the bees away. A little while later, after the shock wore off, I realized I had been stung on my eyelid and forehead. (A couple days later and after reenacting the scene multiple times, I SO wish that I had a video of me freaking out. And I forgave Jochem and Liz for laughing so hard because I realized I probably would have laughed harder had it been one of them.)
My eye did not puff up all that much that day. I went to bed without taking any antihistamine thinking the swelling would continue to go down. When I woke up the next morning my left eye was almost swollen shut! It was our first day in Zimbabwe to do ministry and I just felt so ugly. I threw on my glasses and frowned at myself in the mirror trying to remind myself that the impoverished kids I saw would not care what my face looked like.
That day I met children who lived in a village lined with one room shacks. We played with them all afternoon, learning new games that were their favorites. When we first got into the village I kind of stepped back behind my team, hoping no one would ask about my eye. Once I forgot about my eye, I was able to focus on being completely present and loving on kids who were longing for attention.
I found out later that the village we visited is home to 1 million Africans, 600,000 of them living with HIV/AIDS. That night in my tent before bed, I was appalled that I was so focused on my physical appearance when the people I interacted with are worried about whether they and/or their family members will live to see next week. I was brought so low and the piece of humble pie I ate that night was the worst tasting pie I have ever had.
That night my perspective of my priorities drastically shifted. I realized that my mentality was one of the world, instead of being Kingdom-focused. Living in America it is so easy for us to become wrapped up in what the world tells us is important- our appearance, reputation, job, car, clothes. When really all these things are so fleeting and have no impact on the purpose we were created for. Having high end cars and brand name clothes will not win people to Jesus. Only a supernatural glow that flows from our lives will attract unbelievers.
Father use me as an attracter, bringing people to more intimate relationship with you. Continue giving me humbling experiences that slap me in the face and remind me of who I am and what you have called me to be.
“Lead a life worthy of your calling, for you have been called by God.” Ephesians 4:1
