“Therefore
do not lose heart. Though outwardly we are wasting away, inwardly we are being
renewed day by day. For our light and momentary troubles are achieving us an
eternal glory that far outweighs them all. So we fix our eyes on not what is
seen, but on what is unseen. For what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen
is eternal.�
2 Corinthians 4:16-18
Do not lose heart. Do not give up,
but instead keep pressing onward leaning more and more into the father and Holy
Spirit. Every day we are being renewed in mind, body and spirit even if we only
feel or seem to be wasting away. Keep shining on in times of trouble and
struggles for those times are when we most grow. The renewing and change of our
hearts and spirit cannot be seen. Learn to find the smalls joys, and fix your
gaze on our father’s face. Find rest in his arms. The troubles se see and face
now are only temporary, but the love of our father and his truth is eternal.
This verse stood out to me today as
I finally had a chance to sit back and process everything so far. As I told my
team during feedback, I am still struggling. I feel as if I am a burden to
them. This place is not home nor is it anything like home. I don’t know how to
handle catcalls or being called Barbie all the time. My heart breaks as I watch
children as young as 3 try to sell you stuff with their parents coaching them.
Where is their childhood? Why won’t people take no for an answer? I am a mess.
It’s hard for me to feel the presence of God or the Holy Spirit in this place.
This place, however, is changing me.
Yes it’s hard and troubling, but I am only focusing on the seen. I need to put
my trust in the Lord, that he is using me in some way here. I know he is here.
I am being sharpened and renewed day by day in this place. My coat is just big
right now and it’s uncomfortable. Hopefully soon it will be too little.
