I will waste my life…

I will waste my life…

 

My life is forever changed, two Sundays ago Heidi Baker (if you don't know who that is check her out at www.irismin.org she is an amazing Woman of God, doing amazing things in Mozambique and around the world) anyways she came to preach and while she was preaching, in the beginning she said there are a few people that are to offer their life to full time missions. I already knew that I was going to become a full time missionary ever since I went on my first trip to China 10 years ago, but this was different… God was really pressing on me to make it a public declaration. So I did and offered my life. I knew without a doubt that I was to give it all. I became a laid down lover. To experience a journey unlike any other. One that will have it's ups and downs, it's fun moments it's toughest moments. One that I will look to and know that this is what I was made for. That I was designed for greatness! Knowing that no one and nothing comes first but God. 

 

So I'm leaving it all behind. Everything I once held dear and everything I once knew. No more living life as the norm, but to really believe and trust God that he will point my feet in the way they should go and for me to not lean on my own understanding. My life is in His hands and my full trust is in him. I am going from always having things at  easy access to my fingertips to not knowing where what next. I am ready for this jourey in life and to fully rely on Him.  

 

There is a song by Misty Edwards that I have been listening to lately and it really speaks over my life for this next journey I am about to embark on. Read the lyrics and listen to the song. 

 

I Will Waste My Life

I will waste my life,

 

I'll be tested and tried.

With no regrets inside of me,

Just to find I'm at your feet,

Let me find I'm at your feet.

 

I leave my father's house, and 

I leave my Mother.

I leave all I have known, and

I'll have no other. 

 

For I am in love with you,

and there is no cost.

I am in love with you,

and there is no loss.

I am in love with you,

I want to take your name.

I am in love with you,

I want to cling to you, Jesus,

Just let me cling to you, Jesus.

 

I say goodbye to my father, my mother,

I turn my back on every other lover, and I

Press on, yes I press on.

 

The Lyrics are just fitting to my life, and as I read these lyrics I think of Paul in 2 Corinthians 11:22-33 and all that he endured while sharing the Gospel of Christ. The desire to suffer for Christ. Do I have enough desire? enough passion? enough heart? to go through the things that Paul went through? Sure I may not go through all he endured or possibly I may. I don't know what the future holds, but i do know that as Philippians 4:13 states "I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me." I will change the world, I will endure all that comes into my path, i will be the laid down lover he has called me to be. Also in Romans 5:1-5  it says "1 Therefore, since we have been justified through faith, we have peace with God through our Lord Jesus Christ. 2 through whom we have gained access by faith into this grace in which we now stand. And we boast in the hope of the glory of God. 3 Not only so, but we also glory in our sufferings; because we know that suffering produces perseverance; 4 perseverance, character; and character, hope. 5 And hope does not put us to shame, because God's love has been poured out into our hearts through the Holy Spirit, who has been given to us.

 

So I leave everything… my family, my friends, my possessions, my job, receiving a paycheck twice a month, a roof over my head, a vehicle to drive, all that has made me comfortable and I put my full faith in God. Trusting that those around me will be my Crutch and support me Prayerfully and Financially. I will be tested and tried but all in all I will not be put to shame! Our God's love reigns! His love never fails, it never gives up, it never runs out on me. 

 

P.S. I am $800 away from reaching my next goal! Still need $9,000 until I reach my total goal. I still need supporters. Will you consider partnering with me?! 

P.S.S- I got Blessed with a laptop! Woo God is Good!