Sonship is another word that is beginning to have new meaning in my life. Understanding our relationship with the Father from the perspective of a son or daughter too, of course(its 2019 and we are apparently supposed to include these clarifications now. [Side note: that’s really fine,] I’m super on-board with meeting people where they are at if I have to work and be more gracious in clarifying and that allows me to have good and constructive conversations with people, let’s go…), is much different than seeing my spiritual journey as a big scoreboard of trying to be good vs screwing up. There is way too much shame that comes from the latter perspective and if you’re stuck in that now, 1) I’ve been there and 2) let me share with you the things I found that can separate or change the Father’s love for you. This list can be found within the following parentheses ( ). You read that correctly, not a dang thing. I pray you come to know what freedom in Christ truly means and, honestly, I’ve been praying the same thing for myself.
Back to the story,
About a week into spending time with the team, a good friend of mine (now, not quite yet then) had asked to share something with me that the Lord had given to hear. Now, from the short interactions I had with them up to this point had given me enough to know this would be more than just encouragement. It’s funny really, how many times have I prayed to hear or know the Lord’s will for my life (another question I think is dangerously misleading, though well-intentioned) and the opportunity was about to present itself. The look on her face told me it was the real deal. Instead of excitedly inviting the conversation to continue, I think my exact words were, “keep that crap to yourself,” and I walked off. Ouch, that was a real example of faithfulness if I’ve ever seen one. The habit of living for/in that which is comfortable forced me to instinctively reject a potential next step that I had been praying for. And even if it didn’t turn out to be the place the Lord would take me to next, why couldn’t I just hear her out and then take that to the Father myself? Well my friend did not give up that easily, (good friends do things like that from time to time), and later that night I chose to hear her out.
I’ve debated on sharing this detail in the story because what was shared was absolutely intended to be between me and the Father. I believe that because I’m here now about to live out what was shared with me, I can share it. “I will be in Africa for at least one month, within the year.” Of course after I heard it, I felt a little ashamed of how anxious I was but this conversation was just a giant mirror that was showing me what my heart truly desired, to be comfortable. I had been living under the mask of “Here I am, send Me” but underneath, I had so many conditions to that statement. When my bluff was called, fear took over and I responded in my shame. But I share this now to hopefully show others that our Father is constantly pursuing us. Yes, all of us. Period. He wants to speak to us and have a true relationship with Him. A relationship built on Holy Spirit guiding and teaching us to become more like Jesus. A relationship where we choose to fully depend on the Father, like a son/daughter would choose (by instinct) to trust their father. A relationship that allows us to rest fully as we are surrounded by the Father’s open arms and He tells us, “in me, you have peace[…] I have overcome the world” (John 16:33). This is true freedom; being free to completely trust in the Father and the power of the resurrection of His son, Jesus. Nothing else comes close to that kind of freedom. Fear has no power in the arms of the Father.
Over the next several months, the Father would open doors to co-leading a team to Africa where my focus would be to disciple these brothers and sisters as we served alongside the local church there. Please pray for us over these next few months and pray for hearts of those we get to serve. If nothing else, we will see seeds planted but Holy Spirit will be doing the real work in drawing their hearts to the Father. I’m just incredibly humbled that I get the opportunity to see a small glimpse in the work He’s already been doing over there and will continue long after my team and I are gone.
