This year has been incredible. The Lord has shown up time and again, showing me that just as I want to love the people in front of me, He wants to love all of His children. He wants to love ME. He wants to love YOU! The overarching theme of this year has been, “There is nothing God won’t do to show someone He loves them intentionally and uniquely.” Often times, it happens in ways I least expect. As I’ve mentioned before, Kingdom living is about starting small. And it can seem true for God too. God will often also seem to start “small” to bring His Kingdom work to fruition. But when God does these “small things,” they don’t stay small.
His Kingdom is a mustard seed that grows and grows until it is bigger than life itself.
Over the course of the year, though, He has been intentionally tailoring every experience on my Race to help ME grow and mature as a person and as a son. Every month, He would give me a new word or phrase that directed my attention to His truths in new ways. Without further ado, here are the barebones of what I learned each month (part one).
Colombia (Month 1) – “I brought you here to grow, not to do.”
Early on in the month, I had the Lord began to show me visions and speak to me about the beautiful landscape all around me. With that, j felt those words resound in my spirit: “I brought you here to GROW, not to DO.”
This month was (needless to say) one of the most growing for me. It was formative and set a good foundation for what God did for the rest of the year. He showed me some of the most specific visions that helped me during some of the hardest times on the Race. These include (but are not limited to):
- Vision of Jesus that looked like an older version of me. I thought, “wow, He looks like me.” But it was then that I realized it wasn’t HIM who looked like me. It was ME who was beginning to look more and more like Him. And I don’t mean this physically. Praise Jesus for the assurance that I will continue to grow to look more like Him as I get to know Him more.
- Vision of heaven, reminding me that the Lord has my dad in His hands no matter what happens to him in this life. This ended up being so important for me to remind myself of God’s goodness even as my dad got sicker as I kept going on the Race.
- Visions furniture in the jungle. That was a really weird vision. I wasn’t sure why in the world that popped up in my mind. I came to find out almost a whole month later that we were going to be building furniture in the jungle of Peru (like what?! Oddly specific, but God uses this to grow me in understanding visions and how He speaks to me)
Colombia was also the month that I did my “inner healing,” which is basically a therapy session with the Lord. In an inner healing, you often ask the Lord to help you work through painful memories that you didn’t process well previously. In them, you usually ask Him to reveal any lies you believed about yourself or about Him in that memory and then ask Him to replace it with one of His truths (the evidence of which you can find in Scripture). I learned a lot about myself and some unhealthy thought patterns I had about community. This was obviously extremely foundational in me growing so much in community this year.
Ecuador (Month 2) – “Blind trust”
At the start of Ecuador, I had a vision of an airplane. The pilot was flying the plan, flipping switches, pulling levers, and hitting buttons. I had no idea how the pilot knew what he was doing. But I didn’t care. I trusted Him to get me where I needed to go. God then revealed to me that that’s basically also how faith in Him looks sometimes. We may not always understand how and why He “flies the plane,” but we need to put our faith in Him and trust that He is going to bring us where we need to be.
This ended up not only being spiritual significant in general but also ended up describing our month in Ecuador perfectly. Our schedule was at times hard to understand. Communication with the host was hard, and there were some days we literally did not know what time ministry was going to start the next day, what we were doing, who we were with, how late we would get back at night, or if we needed to pack our own lunches that day. It in the end, we trusted the process and learned a lot about blind trust in the Lord that month.
As a side note, this was also the month I got poured into by Brittany, one of my squad leaders in the beginning of the Race, who is one of the most prophetic people I have ever met (if not THE most prophetic). She discipled me in dream interpretation for a season and helped me understand that God was in fact speaking to me. She assured me that my visions were actually accurate and spiritually significant. Honestly, the month was so important for my growth in understanding God’s voice.
Peru (Month 3) – “You will understand your identity as “the Beloved” in a new way this month”
This month, while driving through the desert to get to our ministry sight, I was listening to a podcast. In it, the man talked about Hosea 2:14, where it prophesied that God would lead Israel into the desert and speak tenderly to her. He made the point that when we need to understand God’s love for us, He leads us into the desert. That’s why Israel had to journey through the desert for 40 years– they didn’t trust that He was a good God who would fight for them and take care of them. They didn’t understand His love.
I grew up not understanding that God was truly a loving God. I grew up afraid of upsetting God… afraid that He would send me to Hell if I messed up. And you know what? God reminded me that there is only ONE judgement day. That means, for the rest of eternity, He is going to pour out love on His children! I had been making God to be this big, scary guy in the sky. But He’s a lover most of all.
This month, I saw His love come alive in new ways. I read the book of John (the “beloved disciple”) as part of my reading plan. God showed me time and again that when we are “dry,” He is there with us speaking tenderly with us and leading us to His rivers of living water.
India (Month 4) – “Suffering AND joy”
Going into this month, my squad prayed for vision and direction. Everyone received encouraging words for this month about the power of God coming alive in new ways. I was the only one that seemed to get a partially “discouraging word:” “suffering and joy.” Someone else (that had never met our squad) told our leadership team that the word the Lord had given him for our squad this month was “joy.” But what about the suffering? Why is no one talking about that?
*Enters India.*
Newsflash. India is HOT. And not just “hot.” It is so hot, you can’t take a nap without waking up in a puddle of your own sweat. The food can sometimes be so spicy, it gives you the “spicy poops” for DAYS. There are no western toilets or toilet paper, so you have to “wipe” by pouring water down your backside. Maybe no one else got the word “suffering” because it was implied. And here I am, acting like I had no idea it was going to be like this.
This month was also spiritually heavy. We had nightmares for days because of the loud music and Hindu festivals happening all around us. We saw people possessed and oppressed by demons and MANY other people who were sick. Many of the people we met had no access to medical care either, so they were suffering without any hope for. The only thing they had to rely on was the Lord’s healing power (which is honestly more than some people have in the States). It’s an environment full of spiritual warfare, but it is also a breading ground for strong faith… faith enough to move mountains and bring supernatural healing. And that’s where the joy comes in. The joy of the Lord that surpasses all understanding (much like His peace).
This month may have been one of the hardest ones for us comforts-wise, but it was also one of the most incredible to experience. Me and my friend John saw a woman who had glaucoma miraculously healed. We literally saw her eyes change right before our own eyes, and the lady left being able to see clearly! If that doesn’t make you celebrate, I don’t know what will! Sure, there is pain and suffering in the night, but JOY comes in the morning! And oh, what a bright morning it is!
And that’s only the first 4 months of my Race! I can’t wait to share with you about the rest of the months! The Lord has been soooooo good to me, teaching me so many truths about who He is and what that means for the way I live my life over the course of the Race! I pray that these themes not only encouraged you but also inspired you to chase after the Lord in your own way! You can trust Him at His word: if you acknowledge Him in all your ways, He will direct your paths!
In all things, be blessed!
AG
