“Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs.”
1 Corinthians 13:4-5, NIV
Ah, 1 Corinthians 13. The “love chapter.” We’ve all heard these verses a million times. It’s a staple for many weddings and Hallmark cards. It’s a sweet, “feel good” section of the Bible to most Christians, but what we don’t always think about is the context for these verses: a lesson on spiritual gifts.
Spiritual gifts are a wonderful thing. I couldn’t count how many times I talked about them with others. Most of the time, people say, “I wonder what my gift is! What gift did God give me?” That’s why I love 1 Corinthians 12:31 so much. In the midst of his teaching in spiritual gifts and how they operate in the body of Christ, Paul shows us “still a more excellent way” (ESV).
LOVE.
Without love, we are nothing. Your gifts? They are worthless. You can speak about the most incredible things, the deepest revelations, the most beautiful languages… but all of it is NOTHING if you don’t walk in love. Therefore, the way that is even more excellent than desiring the spiritual gifts in our lives is to desire love.
With this context, it changes the way we read 1 Corinthians 13.
“Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs.”
This isn’t just a general definition of love. It isn’t a “feel good” passage at all. It’s a sword that cuts DEEP into our inmost being. This passage is a standard of measurement by which we can DISCERN whether or not we are walking in true love.
And here’s the big hitter:
Life is not about us at all. It’s about God. And God is love. Therefore, Life is about Love.
Let’s say someone is a gifted speaker and teacher. God may give them great wisdom and such a way with words that they can teach anyone about anything— about language, about the arts, about history. Maybe they are a gifted preacher and know all kinds of mysteries concerning how to apply Scripture to our lives. And yet… if they don’t have love, they are NOTHING. They might as well not be gifted in the first place.
Too vague? Let’s take a page from my personal life.
I have always been an encourager. It has been nurtured in me since before I can even remember. I was always taught to love people with words. Our words can hurt others, but they can also give them so much joy and peace! Why wouldn’t I want to encourage them? It costs exactly $0 to be kind to someone and lift their spirit!
And yet…
I did not always walk in pure love. Sometimes, I encouraged others because I thought I was good at it. I felt it was my duty to lift others up with an encouraging word. Sometimes, if I’m being honest, I wanted to be appreciated for “this good” I did for others. In other words, I sought attention and affirmation in the process… I was self-seeking!
Bleh. It makes me sick just thinking about it. Conviction is a funny thing.
Here’s the truth. Love trumps gifts. PERIOD. If someone is crying and pouring their heart out to you, it is actually more loving for you to shut your mouth and just sit with them in that. They don’t need your gift of encouragement as much as they need to be loved. One great way to love people is to just try to understand them and their pain.
Have you ever been in this situation? Have you ever felt like you didn’t know what to say? GOOD. That was probably the Lord telling you to shut your brain off and just sit with someone in their pain without worrying about what to say.
I’ve been learning a lot about this over the course of this year so far. I have learned that it feels a lot more loving if someone just sits and cries with you than if someone tries to lift your spirit with their words. Worse if someone tries to preach to you. And then I realized that I am one of the chief culprits of this exact thing.
A thought— what if God is trying to speak to someone and you are getting in the way of HIM loving on them by speaking? Silence is a beautiful thing. We should all strive to learn the art of being quiet with others.
In this season I have learned that when I don’t know what to say, I should lift up a silent prayer. “Lord, give me eyes to see as they see right now.” “Lord, help me feel their pain with them.” “Lord, help me just understand them.” Essentially, “Lord, help me love them more in this moment.”
Love. If we try to make it about us, we will fail to walk in true love (remember, it is not self-seeking). Don’t make love about you. Love is not all about you, but you (in reality… in PURPOSE) are all about love. That’s who you were designed to be. Live as your true self, as a true reflection of love. Put other people— their needs, their desires— above yourself.
“Greater love has no one than this: to lay down one’s life for one’s friends.” John 15:13.
Get off the pedestal and get up on the cross instead. Crucify your own flesh and your desires. Crucify your pride and your lust for affirmation. Learn to die as Jesus died. That’s the only way to love as Jesus loves.
In all things, be blessed!
AG
