As the days click by it is unreal that we only have a little over a month before we step back in America for the first time in 11 months. I have been spending a little more time recently reflecting on this past year and what God has taught me. At first, I think that I haven’t changed that much, that God has taught me more of His character but I’m pretty much the same as when I left. Maybe a little more cultured, more traveled, less hygienic, less organized but overall, I’m the same girl that left America 10 months ago. But the more I spend reading through my journal of my thoughts over the past year and reading the bible I can see that God has changed me too.
In the process of sharing His love, hoping to His light to enter into darkness, He has radically opened my eyes and heart.
This month we are living in Baños Ecuador, and it is absolutely beautiful. Lots of rain, but that results in lush green landscape and cooler temperatures – which is a nice break in our almost full year of summer. Our ministry has been a variety of things such as leading small groups, going door to door to invite people to church, working with 1-3 year olds’, painting, and singing at church. Even though I have enjoyed the ministry this month, by far my favorite part of this month has been the family who we are living with.
Antonio, his wife Maria, and two daughters, Diana & Sahely, have been wonderful. They don’t speak any English, but luckily my Spanish has been slowly improving and Andy’s has gotten very good. What makes it so wonderful is that they have just completely accepted us as their own, calling us their kids and not only opening their home to us but opening their lives and hearts to us. They teach us how to eat plantains with cheese and we teach them how to make banana bread. They spoil us with trips to the zoo and hot springs and we teach them how to play card games.
This family has really shown me a lot more about His character and how He calls all of us to love deeply.
A consistent theme to this year has been seeing so much hardship and brokenness. From the poverty in India, to the slums in Nepal and Cambodia, to the desperate need for hope of a better life in Thailand and Vietnam, to the lack of necessity in Ethiopia and Rwanda, to the problems of addiction in Bolivia and Peru – we have seen and experienced a lot. A lot of pain, despair, hurt, and evil of the world. It is easy to get discouraged. To feel as though evil has overcome, that the darkness is just too dark to make a difference.
But then God quietly reminds me of His light that flows into me, enough to overflow into others.
A light that overcomes all darkness.
And a hope that can lead us closer to Him in the midst of brokenness.
God doesn’t promise us ease of that things will go as planned. He doesn’t promise a world without trouble, without heart break. He promises us Himself. The God of the universe, the creator of all things promises to never leave our side. And that is the greatest promise of all! He doesn’t promise that our live with be full of only happy things, but that He will be with us through the joy and the sorrow. That He will hold our hand, lift us up and walk with us. So that we will be able to have strength to show others that He is the light that carries us. To open doors to people who have never see His love and allow them to walk in hope as well.
As much as I can recognize this now as I sit here writing, sometimes its hard to remember when my heart is hurting for all these people. I know that I am the light amid the darkness because of Christ who strengthens me, but sometimes it is painful. God has called me to love deeply, as He calls all of us. But why does God allow us to love deeply when it’s painful? When people say no and turn away, or continually make the wrong choices?
Maybe because He knew that I would.
In saying yes to Him, I say yes to whatever or whoever He puts in front of me. He allows me to walk the hard road because He knows I will, I will love people relentlessly. Even when I’m only with them for a few weeks, or even a few hours. He connects me to people all over the world for a season, not only that I may show them His love, but also so that He can connect more deeply with me.
And so just like with how our host family has opened their homes and hearts to us to easily, even when we leave at the end of the month, God asks me to do the same. To see people in brokenness and open my heart to them and love them deeply. Even when it’s only for a season, or maybe a lifetime. Even when they hurt me or turn away. God calls me to love deeply, just as He loves deeply.
“Let us know, let us press on to know the Lord; his going out is sure as the dawn; he will come to us as the showers, as the spring rains that water the earth.” Hosea 6:3
Maria, Antonio and Sahely
One of the church groups we got to work with.
Leading a VBS for a different group of kids.
