We have been in Nepal for about 10 days now and Andy and I have really loved the beauty of this country. With the mountains in the distance everywhere we look and the cooler weather, we have been so excited about being here and waiting to see what our ministry will look like this month. Our whole squad is together (48 of us) living in a 4 story building, which has been busy and full of people but great to develop deeper relationships with the people on our whole squad. We met Pastor Brian who is our contact here with his wife and family, and the they are all so caring and excited to have our squad here to partner with their ministry. They participate in a wide variety of ministries such as rescuing trafficked victims, trekking to mountain villages, working with local pastors and evangelizing to the people of Nepal.
The last few days we have been praying a lot over the city and interceding for the people here and yesterday we did an activity where we prayed for God to show us someone who needed to hear His love. Learning how to actively listen to the Holy Spirit and wait for the voice of the Lord has been a process for me. It takes dedication and a willingness to wait and see rather than always taking action. This month I have been praying to hear God’s voice and to have Him reveal His heart to me, and yesterday I was able to understand what that means in a new way.
After spending about an hour in prayer, we all shared what we felt God was showing us. I saw a picture of a little girl wearing a red dress with her hair up in a bun, walking on a cobblestone road. I drew a nice stick figure drawing with the verse Jeremiah 29:11-14 on the back, knowing that God wanted this girl to understand that He has a plan for her life if she will only seek Him. We headed out in our team to marketplace of Kathmandu and started looking. After walking around for about 5 minutes, Andy pointed out that we ended up walking on a cobblestone road, just like in my picture (which also happens to be the first cobblestone road I have seen since arriving here). I was asking the Lord to really show me this girl, to show me if I was really hearing His voice in this way. And within a few minutes, Andy again points out a little girl in a red dress with her hair in a bun walking with her mom right past us. I immediately hurry over to them and tap on the mother’s shoulder saying, “Look! I have this drawing for you of your daughter!” Of course she doesn’t speak English but looks at me like I’m crazy. I try to offer the drawing to the little girl, saying it is a gift, but the mother says no and continues walking down the road. I was crushed.
I don’t know why, but I immediately felt rejected and so disappointed that this little girl, whom I’ve never met before nor probably will never meet again, didn’t take this drawing from me. I start asking God why He would take me so far as to find this girl He had shown me, but not giving me any chance to tell her how much He loves her! Isn’t that why I am even in Nepal, to share His great love? We continue walking around to find some of my team’s pictures, but my heart is heavy as I continue to search. We end up standing on top of a walking bridge overpass, watching so many cars, buses, motorbikes, bicycles, and people walking under us. And right then, it hits me. I had asked God to show me his heart and that’s exactly what had happened. He showed me how it feels when His children, His creations reject Him. When we say no and turn away to keep walking in our own path rather that follow Him. He eagerly seeks us out to know Him, surrounds us by the beauty of creation to have us delight in Him, and yet we say no. We find other things to occupy our thoughts and time.
Understanding this and recognizing how it plays into my life and the lives of all the people I was watching was a step for me. A step in understanding how much God cares for me in that even though there are times I walking in my own ways, He continually calls me back. He continues to seek me out, waiting for me to seek Him in return. So this month will be a time of seeking Him on a deeper level to learn and see His heart. To patiently wait in His presence to learn more of who He is and His great love for us as His children.
Therefore the Lord waits to be gracious to you, and therefore he exalts himself to show mercy to you. For the Lord is a God of justice; blessed and all those who wait for him. — Isaiah 30:18
The city of Kathmandu. Filled with people that God is
seeking out, waiting for them to say yes to Him.
