Well im sitting here at launch in one of our last sessions. Realizing how hard saying goodbye is. This past week ive said goodbye to most of my best friends and family, for a year. It was hard. I shed a few tears. Ima miss everyone dearly.
But nothing was harder than saying goodbye to my family. I bawled telling Austin bye. (And he did to. oops let it slip). Im gonna miss his entire senior year. Unbelievable. It hurts my heart sometimes so much that it hurts physically. Love you "little" brother. I'm thankful to God that you have been faithfully following Him these last few years of highschool. I love you man.
Saying goodbye to my mom and dad was weird, which brings me to the title of this blog "the Love of God." My parents have watched me go through the darkest times in my life, and the stuff i have put them through has been unbelievable. From withdrawing from a nice private college to move to university of memphis to moving to one of the roughest neighborhoods of memphis without telling them until i secured a house (while i was still in college) to having suicidal thoughts of depression while burning myself out in ministry and then trying to run away to haiti while they were away so that jeff jones had to block my drive way so i couldnt leave, i have put them through it all. AND THEY WERE WALKING RIGHT BESIDE ME THE WHOLE TIME. Not just walking beside me, BUT ACTIVELY PURSUING me. Whenever I tried to run and push them away, they were there. Was it easy? Ask them (answer is heck naw). But they did it, because they loved me. Did it feel good? Ask them how much they cried. But they kept going. Language is literally inadequate to describe how good they have been to me, and they mean the world to me, even tho i certainly don't deserve the way they loved me. The love of the True Father has shown through them this entire time. And it's just now sinking in because they are gone. I'm finally figuring out that through my parents love, Jesus was pursing me. And i still dont understand it yet to be honest.
That is why saying goodbye was weird. Because they mean the world to me but I don't know how to express it. I know that I will miss them dearly, but it hasn't sunk in yet. I love them, and they love me, but i dont think i will realize the extent of this til we are away from each other for so long. But to my family, who has been the best example i can possibly think of of the pursuing love of The Father, I love you, and ill see ya soon!!
