I’ve been here at Adventures for over 6 months now, and the Lord has been continuing the work of healing that He began on the Race. You see, when I left on the Race, I was scared of God, and I didn’t really trust Him, didn’t believe that He wanted my good. I had been through a hard season and felt like He had abandoned me, like I didn’t really know Him. I felt like I was barely hanging on. Yet mercifully, months before the World Race, God had started pulling me back, healing my heart, giving me a solid foundation, work that He continued on the Race.
He showed me how ugly my heart was, my great need for grace. He showed me that I had so many other treasures (idols) besides him. He showed me that I wasn’t as good as I thought I was, and that I was incredibly broken and fearful.
But in the same vein, He began showing me what true community looked like. He began showing me that He had great plans for my life, that He had His hand on me and wasn’t going to let me go, no matter how hard I tried. He revealed that He had began a great work in me, and no matter how painful it is, He isn’t going to stop until He’s done. I began hearing from Him for the first time, learning how to be obedient to His voice. He taught me how to feel again.
And He’s been continuing His Work since i’ve been here at Adventures. Recently, by showing me the Father’s heart for us. This was such a big topic on my Race, but i could never relate and I never really understood what they were talking about. But He’s been in the process of slowly revealing His heart for me (and you) in moments over the past months. One of these moments came in a conversation with Clint (a 40 something eccentric/energetic child of the King who acts like what he actually is and doesn’t give a crap what anybody thinks except his Father) in which we were discussing my depression of the past and the little signposts of hope that God had used to sustain me in it. We came to the conclusion that it wasn’t a depression but a wilderness, and God the Father was there the whole time, guiding me and watching like a good dad does. He was crucifying my flesh, and killing the things that were no good to me that I depended on and so loved. Like a good Dad does, He was doing the hard things that I needed. And He was there, pursuing, welcoming the whole time, waiting on this prodigal son to trust.
The other moment was today’s download of how unconditional a father’s love is. I’ve been reading the book “A Long Way Gone”, which are the memoirs of Ishmael Beah, a former child soldier from Sierra Leone. In it, Ishmael recounts memories of a normal childhood, interrupted by a war that drew him into battle and transformed a mischevious, albeit kind-hearted kid into a monster capable of extraordinary evil. After UNICEF rescues him out of the child army, he’s put in a rehab center in Freetown, where him and other child soldiers go through excruciating drug withdrawals and deal with PTSD caused by the war. More than that, they are still fighters, and they do everything they can to thwart the efforts of the counselors determined to save them from themselves, even going so far as killing each other and sending counselors and guards to the hospital, with the utmost contempt for the “civilians” who took them out of the war. And yet, every time a staff member returns from the hospital, he kindly smiles at the boys and says “it’s not your fault that you’re this way”, calmly loving them even in their hate.
My mind flashes to another scene, this one from the movie “Blood Diamond”. Leonardo DiCaprio’s character “Archer” and Solomon have just recovered Solomon’s son Dia and the diamond from the RUF, both going to great lengths to save Dia. It has been months since Dia has seen his father, and his brainwashing is so bad that the young boy treats his father as any soldier would treat an enemy, pointing his pistol at him, his gaze full of hate, ready to pull the trigger on the man that raised him and just saved his life. Yet Solomon, full of the unconditional love a father has for his son, looks him square in his angry eyes and speaks the same truth that our Heavenly Father speaks over us, “You are Dia Vandy of the Proumanday Tribe. You are a good boy…I know they made you do bad things. You are not a bad boy. I am your father, who loves you. And you will come home with me and be my son…again.”
And as Dia experiences the unconditional love of his father, tears roll down his face, his identity is restored and the healing begins. As in all rehabs there will be tough times and dark nights, lashing out and struggle, but the Father has broken through our walls, and “He will carry on to completion the good work that He began in us”. Just like a good dad does.
Much love,
Andrew
