“ But blessed are those who trust in the Lord and have made the Lord their hope and confidence. They are like trees planted along the riverbank, with roots that reach deep into the water. Such trees are not bothered by the heat or worried by long months of drought. Their leaves stay green and they never stop producing fruit. “
Jeremiah 17:7-8
One of the things we hear in Christian circles and that the WR teaches is that you don’t have to be a missionary to live missionally. After an unexpected early return to Canada from the mission field in Botswana my servant heart was screaming, “DO SOMETHING”, and in the first couple of months I looked, and I prayed to find a place to use my gifts to serve God, I prayed for help to fulfill a dream He had lain on my heart overseas. Then a door opened – a door that would lead me into the same thing I had been doing before we left on the race. As blessed as I felt at having found a job so quickly, I was also a little disappointed. Was it not the spirit who lives in me who had driven these desires of my heart? Why then was this the only door that had swung open? Why had this great dream, this year of adventure and seeking after God been ripped from me only to spit me out into the same life I had led before?
For 5 months I wrestled with this. I struggled to connect intimately with God. I struggled with the loss of a community of people all pursuing God together. I struggled with the guilt of not having found a place to serve. I struggled with the lie that it was because I was lazy. What I lost sight of was this; “Whatever you do or say, do it as a representative of the Lord Jesus”. I stopped putting on the armor of God as I walked out the door, and I didn’t stop to remind myself of who I am in Christ and as such how I carry his image and represent who he is everywhere I go.
Maybe my role is as simple as smiling at every individual who walks through the door of the salon, looking at everyone who sits in my chair through the eyes of God and loving them wherever their at. I won’t lie, it doesn’t really feel like enough. I long for more, and I believe there will come a time when God will call me to more.
I want to be like the tree in Jeremiah. Not worried about what feels like a drought because I am drawing living water from a deeper place with Him, my confidence is in Him rather than in myself and as long as that remains true I will continue to bear fruit whether I feel like I’m doing “enough” or not.
Note to all parents who eagerly await their children returning from the World Race:
Start praying for your kids NOW as they prepare to come back to North America. After the initial excitement of being home wears off, they are going to struggle. They are going to struggle to find the same intimacy with God. They are going to struggle coming out of a life of beautiful community into a culture of individualism. They will not be the same person they were when they left, so don’t be surprised if they are not content to go back to the same job that used to be enough, God may have a different path for them, support them in their pursuit of God given desires.
