Letting Go of the Future

 

 

Through the last couple weeks my heart has been struggling a little bit. I hear everyone talking about new jobs and applying for them. Some of them even getting discouraged when they get to know they didn’t get the job they were applying for. People talking about the future and their plans for when they go back home. Even I saw myself a couple days ago feeling desperate, and getting stressed out making my resume to apply for a job that has been in my heart and a dream since even before I started the race. 

 

Don’t get me wrong I am not saying that is bad to start thinking about the future or even to apply for jobs, because if I’m being honest I have a lot dreams! Crazy dreams! 

 

I want to have my own coffee and crepe shop with a missionary environment so missionaries and even non-believers can come and just talk or hear about Jesus and missions. Also I would love to become a full time missionary and with the coffee shop be able to financially support myself. I also would love to work or have a missionary base in Costa Rica, not just for people from other countries to come but for Costa Ricans to go and do missions overseas too. And one that I am praying and believing for the most is to take my mom with me to do missions! I want her to see what I’ve seen, to see Jesus’s heart the same way I’ve experienced it. But all of those dreams will be fulfill not in my time but in God’s time.

 

But why is it so hard for us to be still and believe? Why is it so hard to wait on him? Why do we get obsessed for things instead of getting obsessed for Jesus so he can work through us and fulfill all of those dreams? 

 

The background picture of my computer is a picture of some kids in Rwanda. Everyday I wake up thinking about India or Ethiopia, or even places where I have never been like Pakistan, Jordan, or even Syria. I start to think that the race its almost over but I want to keep doing missions. But when God? Because right now I don’t see you moving. And how? Because I barely had money for this trip. And I say God help me because I don’t want to wake up every morning and say yes I went to a mission trip and that’s it. I get anxious because I want all of it, but I want it in my time and the way that I want. And I keep telling myself and telling God that I don’t want to keep doing something where I don’t have to sacrifice. But I forget so many times that sacrifice is not just leaving everything behind. Sometimes waiting, praying and trusting in him is what sacrifice looks like. When we trust him, we don’t always need to understand. 

 

We don’t need to understand why we didn’t get that job, why we cannot become a full time missionary right away, why we cannot make our dreams come true in the time we want, why our families cannot support us, why I don’t have money for this and that,  why, why , why…

 

 

I was reading a devotional called My Utmost for His Highest that says, “A child’s awareness is so absorbed in his mother that although he is not consciously thinking of her, when a problem arises, the abiding relationship is that with the mother. In that same way, we are to live and move and have our being in God, looking at everything in relation to Him, because our abiding awareness of Him continually pushes itself to the forefront of our lives. If we are obsessed by God, nothing else can get into our lives- not concerns, nor tribulation, nor worries.” 

 

God wants us to have faith in him and to depend on him. He wants us to be like a child that feels safe when he is with his mom. He wants us to be obsessed for him and believe in the promises he has in the bible for us, knowing that his plans and times are better than ours. He wants us to not be afraid of an unknown future when we have a known God. He wants us to walk with him and trust that even when the doors close He is still working on it and has it all under control. 

 

 

This is how we let go of the future!! 🙂