I haven’t written a blog in a while because my thoughts have been all over the place and as a reader, I’m sure you want some kind of direction right?
Well, here it is: My reflection on my time away and what transitioning home has looked like meanwhile leading up to what is the Best day in history.
Coming home from the race was challenging in different ways than I thought, obviously.
I came from India (where there is no personal space) with a large group of 32 people who all have two BIG things in common: we love Jesus and we want to live out our faith. The second thing to have in common is a big deal; We all desire to have a similar lifestyle of following the Lord. When you have something like this in common you become a lot closer than just coworkers or even friends.
This big group of people, especially my team of five, saw parts of me that others never will. When you live life in this context you are surrendering your independence and choosing into vulnerability; You make a choice to open yourself up to people that you just met. It doesn’t feel that way though, you feel like you’ve known these people forever because your hearts have a lot in common. I experienced so much joy in this season that I couldn’t contain in. The only way I can explain it is that I felt “high” on the Holy Spirit. Literally, I was laughing ALL the time. In fact, it’s a theory behind why one day, I had a hard time breathing and actually ended up going to the doctor to find out that everything was FINE and that maybe I bruised my rib from laughing so much. It wouldn’t surprise me. Aside from the joy, I also experienced some growing pains and moments where I broke down. The hard, but beautiful thing about that is that I couldn’t leave the people I was with. They were in it with me. The took me and my imperfections and would love me through them the best they knew how. I wouldn’t have experienced so much joy of it weren’t for moments like these.
The Lord has His ways of doing things. He orchestrated this squad with these specific people in the year 2020. He orchestrated the small teams we would branch out into because He knew that those would be the people that would bring us closest to Him through challenges and through pure joyous moments. He knew it. He wanted it for us. And it all happened.
To go from a season of having this kind of community to America where you are told to go into immediate isolation was hard. I already planned on returning early from this trip because the Lord put it on my heart in the beginning to not be out the full time. I didn’t know why, but I knew something big was going to happen, something bigger than I was able to realize. Little did I know that was for our entire squad of 32 people and we would all came home early.
Upon arriving home, I immediately sensed the fear in people. I started to realize the severity of the virus and I knew I had to quickly develop discernment for how to transition back. Personally, my first thoughts (and I’m sorry if this offends anybody) where to rebel and live as though things were fine. I wanted to have a warm welcoming where I could be with people. The Lord quickly convicted me that it’s not about me and I struggled.
My parents were the only two people who welcomed me with open arms and hugged me (then we went strait to quarantining). I don’t think they will ever realize how much that meant to me in that moment. By His grace, I feel like the Lord gave me that little moment. However, I had some things that I needed to process. The first thing being that, again, it’s not about me. And what a perfect time to dive into this processing! I would have a minimum of 14 days ahead of me to confront my strong independent will.
So here I am, coming up on a month of being home. I’m still confronting my daily thoughts to do what I want. However, each day that I start in prayer and thank the Lord for all that He’s done, it’s making it easier to submit and trust that He is SO much bigger than this virus. In fact, I know He’s using it to slow us down. Slow us down so much that we can’t help, but to stop and think more… question more… perhaps reach out to Him more…
It’s Good Friday, the day that Jesus made us free. Free from our imperfections and our selfish thoughts steering our eternity. He bore the suffering for us and gave His LIFE. As He was breathing in and feeling the weight of our sins, He was breathing out grace and mercy, taking the weight off our shoulders. It’s because of Him that today is a GOOD Friday. So good that He is using this virus to slow us down and realize His goodness. Not only that, but to celebrate it.
In this unknown and difficult time where the world is telling us to isolate ourselves and stay safe, He is the ONLY one who we DON’T have to isolate from. If I’ve learned anything from this quarantine, it’s that He truly is the one source of comfort that never seizes in loving us. Let’s take this slower paced life and celebrate Him.
