Five years ago, I experienced this overwhelming, unconditional love from God that has never left me. Since then, life has changed so much. It hasn’t become easier necessarily, but actually harder in certain ways. I’ve become more aware of my bad habits and earthly desires that were never so obvious before. But even though I’m much more aware of them now, I STILL have a hard time not choosing them.
Welcome to brokenness. We all are and we shouldn’t feel ashamed of it. In fact, it should hopefully encourage us to rely on the One who created us a lot more. I’ve realized that I can’t fight it by myself. I can’t fight the bad thoughts from becoming the bad actions by myself. I am not that strong. I am human.
Humans are like broken machines; we’re made to function a certain way, but we need to be fixed first. We all have a manual that we can read to learn about ourselves and how we’re built (the Bible), but only the Builder can actually fix us.
This idea reminds me of C.S. Lewis’ idea of “the human machine.” In his book, Mere Christianity, he says “God made us: invented us as a man invents an engine. A car is made to run on petrol, and it would not run properly on anything else. Now God designed the human machine to run on Himself. He Himself is the fuel our spirits were designed to burn, or the food our spirits were designed to feed on. There is no other. That is why it is just no good asking God to make us happy in our own way without bothering about religion. God cannot give us a happiness and peace apart from Himself, because it is not there. There is no such thing.”
I’m not totally sure why this little bit was on my mind tonight, but hopefully it encourages you guys to take any pressures off of yourselves and to just let God do His thing in us. Let Him fix your “human machine” even though it hurts at times. Often it requires us to face our fears, forgive others or ourselves for the pain that was caused, or maybe the pain is from having to obey an authority that you didn’t agree with. Whatever the pain may be, let Him do the work in you so you can function how you were intended.
Psalm 139:13-15
“For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother’s womb. I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful I know that full well. My frame was not hidden from you when I was made in the secret place, when I was woven together in the depths of the earth.”
Ephesians 2:10
“For we are his workmanship, created in Christ Jesus for good works, which God prepared beforehand, that we should walk in them.”
