I feel like this sign is my life’s
direction right now. As I mentioned in
the previous blog I thought I had life all figured out, at least for the
foreseeable future. I was hoping I would
get to interview for that dream job and that I would get it. Life would be great then. God closed that door this summer and showed
me that he has other plans. Here’s the
problem, I have no idea what these plans are.
I have been kicking around various
ideas. There are some ministries and
opportunities that I am interested in.
The problem? I have no idea which
option I should pursue. There are pros
and cons to each of these choices and I do not know in which direction to take
a step. Consequently I feel like that
past few weeks I have been frozen. I
knew what I didn’t want (to be a preschool teacher in Indiana), but I don’t know
what I want and I don’t know where the Lord wants me.
It’s through this struggle that
some truths hit me in the face. Let me
share these two quotes with you that have spoken to me.
“We can stop
pleading with God to show us the future, & start living & obeying like
we are confident that He holds the future.”
“The
only chains God wants us to wear are the chains of righteousness–not the
chains of hopeless subjectivism, not the shackles of risk-free living, not the
fetters of horoscope decision making–just the chains befitting a bond servant
of Christ Jesus. Die to self. Live for Christ. And then do what you want, and
go where you want, for God’s glory.”
~Kevin
DeYoung~
I am realizing that while I do not
know exactly where to start moving towards at this moment that I can never find
that out if I don’t start trying to walk in any direction at all. If I let myself stay frozen with the fear of
making a wrong choice then I will accomplish nothing. I have to start walking to find out if I am
walking in the direction the Lord wants me to be heading in. If I begin to walk in a direction he doesn’t
want me, he will close the door. This
summer has shown me that. Who am I to
think that what I choose is so powerful that it will mess up God’s will for my
life? Seriously, he controls my future
and he’s not going to let me walk in a way he doesn’t want me to be heading.
So, my new resolve is that I will
start walking in a direction that I wish to go.
If God closes that door, I will walk in a new direction. I will not be afraid of a closed door. I will not let uncertainty freeze me in place. If I never attempt to make a move, then I
will never move.
